We are going to let her cry it out. Tonight. I have already cried twice about it (return of the hot mess, it seems) and my heart and head are hurting. But I do think it's for the best.
Husband and I discussed it and we are going to do the full-fledged elimination cry-it-out. I can't believe we are doing it, but it seems to be the right choice. Bella is already used to crying in 5 minute intervals and that seems to not only NOT help, but might have made things worse. So the slower elimination or "low fat" version might only confuse her further. I'd rather rip the band-aid off quickly than prolong this bad situation.
All day, I have been dreading what tonight will bring, but I'm as ready as I will ever be. I just keep thinking about how tired Bella has been during the day lately - she's not as smiley or talkative. She's exhausted. I'm exhausted. Husband is exhausted. It's time.
Parenting decisions are not nearly as black and white as I thought they would be. There are so many things that weigh into decisions and I find myself choosing things that I never would have thought I would choose. What I wouldn't give for a manual to tell me what choices I'm supposed to make for the next 18+ years... Except, what would be the fun of that?
She has already gone down for the night and, thankfully, she went down super easily. So I'll get a break for now. However, she'll probably wake up in the next hour or two and that's when my resolve will be put to the test. But we have decided that we will commit to this 100% to avoid sending any mixed messages and have it all be for naught.
Wish us luck!
PS - Thanks again to everyone who has shared their positive experience with CIO. It helps me to not feel like I'm a bad mama; rather, a mama who is making the right decision.
You can do this! Take it from the behaviorist. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish we'd done it sooner!! You'll feel much more confident when you have your first success. It will help fuel the next times when it's hard to hear her crying. Good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I believe you are making the right choice, even though it hurts you emotionally. I started "sleep training" Jacob when he was 10 weeks old. I used a modified version of Babywise, which includes CIO and the eat-wake-sleep cycle (the modified part is that I wouldn't let him cry and cry until he fell asleep - I would (and still do) go in and check on him if he is crying longer than 15 minutes. At first, I would just make sure nothing was wrong and sometimes talk to him and tell him it was ok. These days it is usually because he has spit up since he is sleeping on his stomach now, so I clean him up and put him back down).
ReplyDeleteI cried right along with him the first day, but eventually I saw that it was working and he started sleeping through the night not long after that. He is now (at 4 months old) taking 3 hour naps on occasion & sleeping 12 hours most nights.
The thing that you want to teach her is to self-soothe and to be able to fall back asleep if she wakes up in the middle of the night. It will come with time! Don't give up. It's hard, but it does work!!!
We also did the CIO method and oh man was it tough, for both my husband and me! I saw someone wrote earilier about the shower idea, I also did this. I took a walk etc. BUT wow what a difference it made in all of us! I could tell Gavin was happier being on a more normal cycle and we felt like a happy family again! It helped that I had a friend who has done this with all 5 of her kids and I really repect her as a parent and all of her kids are great! No emotional damage :)
ReplyDeleteI had to keep telling myself...He is fed, dry and just tired there is nothing more I can do for him..Good Luck! We will all be thinking of you and hoping for the best! It is always harder on us than them :)
Marcelle
Good luck guys! Hang in there!! When we did it I kept telling myself I would commit to one night, and then could reevaluate in the morning. It was a rough night, but everything seemed okay in the morning, and I wasn't about to have all that crying be for naught, so we stuck with it. Keep us updated!
ReplyDeleteI just read this and really hope it went better than expected. We (I) had to do the same thing with our sweet boy and it SUCKS. But! it worked after a few nights. During those few nights, neither of us slept well and both cried a lot. I would turn the monitor ALL the way down (rely on the lights to let me know he was still okay), set the microwave timer, and watch bad middle of the night TV to distract me until the next time to go and check on him. Hang in there!
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