Scene from a Marriage: The Gassy Edition

[A woman and her husband lie in bed at 1:30 in the morning. They have been trying to calm their 4-month-old baby for the past several minutes, but the baby is having none of it. The Husband eventually lies down in bed and places the baby on his chest, despite being cautioned against such soothing techniques by multiple sleep books. As the baby quiets down, the wife rolls over, hoping to catch some sleep before the next waking. It should be noted that the wife rarely swears out loud, except on special occasions, such as while giving birth or singing the theme song from Team America.]

Wife: [Sniff. Sniff, sniff.] (Whisper Yell Voice) Did you fart?
Husband: Yup.
Wife: (Whisper Yell Voice) FUUUUUUCK!
Husband: [Tries to be pissed that his wife just rudely swore at him, but can't help but start giggling, which then jostles the baby.]
Wife: (Whisper Yell Voice) It's not funny!
Husband: [Giggles]

End Scene.

This scene was brought to you by the makers of sleep deprivation. Oh, and also by beans.

Breastfeeding: A Retrospective

When I was pregnant, I signed up to be in a breastfeeding study through the University of Minnesota (and thus reveals The Workplace Who Must Not Be Named). I filled out an online survey while pregnant, 2 weeks after delivery, and 4 months after delivery.

The first survey asked about my expectations for breastfeeding: How long do you plan to breastfeed? Will you be comfortable nursing in front of others? How might/will it affect your sex life? I answered those questions feeling fairly confident that breastfeeding would go pretty smoothly for me and that I intended to do it for a long time. Maybe that confidence came from the creepy affirmation printed on hot pink paper from my doula that stated "My body will naturally produce milk and I will use it to feed my baby" (posted that one by the fridge). Or maybe the sheer gigantic-ness of my bosom had me certain that I would produce enough milk (even though I knew that didn't really have anything to do with the ability to breastfeed or not). Or possibly it was knowing that my Mom was able to breastfeed without much trouble. Anyway, that first survey was full of sunshine and moonbeams and the promise of a lovely future of feeding my baby.

The 2 week survey was a different story altogether. A dark, angry raincloud that we can call hormonal flux with a side of bloody nipples had settled over me and I remember answering questions very negatively. I still indicted that I intended to breastfeed for a long time, but when asked if I enjoyed the experience I believe I selected "Definitely not" (but only because "OH, HELL NO" wasn't a choice). I figured it would get better, but I remember feeling so frustrated by it. The baby was all arms and constantly trying to shove her fist in her mouth and my freakin' long torso put me too far from the baby even with the dumb boppy pillow. My body hurt from leaning over to try to get her latched on correctly and my nipples were in constant pain. And I'm someone who had an easy time breastfeeding. Riddle me that.

I filled out the 4 month survey this morning and this final survey was sunshine and moonbeans once more. I really like breastfeeding now. It's so nice to snuggle with Bella and there is something really satisfying about hearing her gulp down her liquid lunch. I've always been someone who has zero tolerance for people making noises when they eat (side eye to Husband loudly eating a popsicle at this moment...GAH), but I love the baby's little eating noises. It's amazing to me that she has gained 10 lbs in the past four months, just by eating what I provide. And for the record - that means Bella now weights 17 lbs, 11 oz. She is officially HUGE. Breastfeeding is just so simple now - I can do it anywhere and at anytime. I can feed her in the dark and I even fed her wearing that ridiculous life preserver when we went out on a boat on Lake Itasca. I'm not comfortable with public nursing, mainly because I have a hard time keeping myself decently covered, but perhaps in time I'll get used to that.

So to any mother that is in the middle of week 2, 3, or 4 post partum and hating breastfeeding - hang in there. It does get better. Maybe even better than you thought possible.

As much as I lament my boobs, they've done good. [Looking down at my chest and shouting "Ya done good, there, titties!]. Here's to another 8+ months of successful breastfeeding.

Boobs: It's what's for dinner.

Letters to Bella: 4 Months

Dear Bella,

Yesterday was your 4 month birthday.

Everyday we find you more delicious and delightful, just like all the Raisin Nut Bran I consumed while pregnant with you. One night, recently, as I lay in bed trying to get back to sleep after you woke me up for the third/fourth/fifth time (side note: PLEASE! SLEEP!), I realized that I needed to carefully document your adorably chubby little shape as it is right now, since it changes (i.e. gets chubbier) each week. Thus, here is some of your adorableness captured on film.

Chubby chin button (fun to push, I assure you)

Chubby Thigh

Chubby Hand

And, for the record, Eye Color Watch 2009 reveals that they are still blue, with green/hazel centers. Like mine, only a darker shade.

Baby, you are beginning to show your personality and it’s fantastic to see your sense of humor develop. You LOL at the world around you and one might even say you ROFL, except you haven’t quite mastered the rolling thing yet. Anyway, you are such a happy little thing, easily amused by me and Daddy. And we are easily amused by you. You have some quirks that never fail to crack me up. These quirks include things like licking the side of your Baby Bjorn and Ergo carriers like they're an ice cream cone (mmm…100% cotton is so rich and creamy!), flinging one of your legs up to my shoulder every time you are breastfeeding, and quietly scratching the sheet around you with a little “scritch, scritch, scritch” sound in the middle of the night. I look forward to all the other ways you’ll make us laugh in the months and years to come.

Bella, you love your daddy so very, very much. You light up every time you see him and never fail to give him tons of smiles and laughter. I, on the other hand, don’t get quite the same exuberant reaction from you. Perhaps it’s because you see me all the livelong day and I get boring after a while. So Daddy gets your happiness in a concentrated dose, while I get spurts of it throughout the day. And that’s OK. It’s nice to see you so happy to be around him. Oh, and when he lifted you above his head and you spit up in his mouth today? That was nice, too.

Love you, my darling baby girl,

Mama

Like She Just Stepped Out of a Salon

Salon Hair Baby from Laura on Vimeo.

More Baby Skillz

Look what mah baby can do!


Bella Sitting from Bella's Mama on Vimeo.


Video also features: ginormous boobs, a jungle pouch, and a blind cat.

Lingering Benefit of Childbirth

I was completing my run this evening and had four minutes to go. My legs and feet hurt and I was tired. I had reached the place of I don't want to do this anymore and debated stopping.

And then I remembered giving birth. The greatest physical feat I've ever accomplished; one that didn't have stopping as an option.

I ran the last four minutes. It was easy.

Talking about Boobs & Sleep...Again

Last night, after the previous night was filled with 6 fun-filled wakings and one bickery fight with Husband, I decided to try dream feeding with Bella.

I read about it in a couple of places and then after I read about it again in The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, I figured it was worth a shot. Basically the idea is that you give the baby an extra feeding around the time when you go to sleep (10:30 for me). You don't even need to wake the baby, just pick them up, feed them, and put them back down. This way, you are filling up their little bellies and (hopefully) buying yourself a few extra hours of sleep.

Want to know how that went? Well, let me put it to you this way. I might have had more success trying to get Husband to eat cookies by holding one up to his mouth while he peacefully slept next to me.

It just was not happening and you know why? Because BELLA WAS ASLEEP. As I sat there repeatedly jamming a boob on her face she continued to peacefully slumber. It cracked me up actually, because it was so ridiculous.

Has anyone else ever gotten this dream feeding nonsense to work? Or is it just another one of those "tips" that parenting experts never actually tried themselves?

Feline Confusion

I'm reading The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (thanks Christy!) and I came across this quote:

I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat.
--Anne Lamott in Operating Instructions

I get it, Anne Lamott. Oh, how I get it. Not so much about babies crying a ton, because Bella really doesn't cry that much. But I get the cat thing. Being a cat person all my life, I seriously got a little confused thinking that a baby would be a lot like a high-maintenance cat. And I am a pro at the high-maintenance cat (shout out to my blind, cleft-palated, obese cat, Stevie, who is prone to the occasional bout of ulcerative colitis!), so I figured it wouldn't be so tricky.

Needy Stevie

But of course having a baby is tricky (hence reading yet another parenting book that makes me feel like I'm doing everything wrong) and not at all like adding another cat into the mix.

As much as I've come to terms with a baby being nothing like a new cat, I can't help but keep getting confused about Bella not having certain...feline skills. I will honestly think to myself in the middle of the night, as I'm feeding her in the dark, "Gah, I can't see a thing. Where's the burp cloth? I'm sure Bella's not having trouble seeing anything even though it's pitch black". And then I have to remind myself that it's CATS who can see well at night, not tiny humans. There have also been times that I will wonder if Bella's superior ability to smell things is affecting her mood and that thought quickly gets superseded with the recollection that it is CATS with superior smell. Oh, and that a baby IS A HUMAN.

Now that I've typed all this out, I am thinking that I'm mentally disturbed. Or sleep deprived. Most likely both.

Anyway, off I go to give Bella a bath. It's crazy - she totally likes water, which is so rare in a... JUST KIDDING!

Meow

Milking Bra

Yesterday Husband was throwing a load of clothes into the washer and he shouted up the stairs at me, "Do you want me to wash your milking bras, too?"

Bwahahaha. Milking bras. You know, for my udders.

That is all.

Hodge Podge

1. We took Bella to an impromptu dinner tonight at a great Thai restaurant in NE Minneapolis, Sen Yai Sen Lek, and she did GREAT. It helped that we were with Auntie S. (and thus had an extra set of hands to help) and also with other couples that had children/were expecting. I'm glad that our first true restaurant experience was a success. Oh, and Husband overheard someone saying, "That's a really cute baby". Aw, shucks.

2. I pumped a bottle earlier today to bring to the restaurant and there was much commenting on the thick and cream-like consistency of my breastmilk. Auntie S. has mentioned this in the past, stating that her milk was always much thinner and translucent. My milk is opaque. Guess that's why my 3.5-month-old child weighs in the neighborhood of 17 lbs and is filling out her 6-month clothing. Also? Can't recall any other time in my life where my bodily fluids were discussed publicly. (Aaaaannd gross!)

3. I'm not doing as well with my exercise as I would like. I'm still walking most days, running a couple times a week, and doing a Turbo Jam here and there, but it's short of what I intended to do. I could blame this on several things. Things like not having as much time to exercise due to our rental properties needing a lot of Husband's attention. Or the really crappy sleep I've gotten over the past couple weeks leaving me too tired to wash dishes let alone do an exercise video. Or I could say it's because my feet have been hurting me and they needed rest. But really it's because I haven't been as disciplined. At this point, I'm going to take it easy on myself and just focus on daily walks plus running three times each week. I'll ramp it back up after the 5K in October.

4. My Facebook friends already saw this, but Bella loudly farted a couple times in front of two men delivering a new washer and dryer to our house today. I was forced to loudly say, "Oh! Does someone need a diaper change?" to prevent them from thinking I was just dropping bombs in front of them. Not sure if they were entirely convinced...

Exhausted - The Final Installment

People, we have turned a corner. Bella did fantastic last night. She slept from 8-midnight, woke up and just wanted to be soothed (which Husband took care of while I slept blissfully unaware in the next room) and then slept from 12-4:45 AM. After that she was only up one more time.

AMAZING!!!

After getting all that sleep last night, I feel much more like myself today. It wasn't such a miserable struggle to clean the house or exercise. I know that this might not be repeated again tonight, but the fact that she was able to do so well last night at least tells me that she is capable of doing it again. She's moving in the direction of sleeping through the night and that is awesome.

Now here is the promised photo of Bella doing 'happy baby' pose.

And here she is in her bathrobe. How cute is a baby in a bathrobe!?

Exhausted, Part Deux

Little chicky continues to get up several times each night. Mantra of the week: "It's a phase. It's a phase. It's a phase". Cause this won't go on forever, right? ["RIGHT!?", she says in a panicky voice.]

You know, the recent night wakings might have to do with her acquiring several new skills this week. The fancy new baby skills are:

1. Putting herself into a happy baby yoga pose all the time, especially on the changing table (quite convenient for wiping!). I'd post a picture, but my exhaustion has prevented proper documentation. If you don't know what it is, here is an adult in the pose.
2. Rolling over to each side.
3. Being much more aware of her surroundings, especially the cats.
4. Grabbing for things. She won't grab if something is too far from her hand, but she has been reaching for her rattle, our hands, her feet, and the cats. See for yourself:


[Um, yeah, I'm gross and let my cat (1) get on the table and (2) drink the rest of the milk out of the cereal bowl. Judge away! And better cereal milk than breastmilk, no?]

Last night, I did get more sleep - a four hour stretch. Husband wanted to take the first feeding to give me a break and I slept in a separate room so I wouldn't hear everything. Worked great for me, but was a bit of a disaster for Husband and Bella. Apparently they were up from 12 AM -3 AM. I think Bella has gotten so accustomed to me doing all the night feedings that she was thrown off by seeing her daddy and a bottle in the middle of the night. The only way to fix that situation is to have Husband do more night feedings, but that is really hard for him during the week since he needs to be fully functional at his job. And, to be perfectly honest, it's hard for me because then I worry about the baby being up and Husband potentially being crabby the next day. We'll try it again tonight and hopefully it will go more smoothly.

Exhausted

I think I am the most drained I have been since Bella arrived. It might be that the cumulative exhaustion has caught up with me. Or it might have to do with the fact that I'm more sleep deprived than usual after our trip and on top of that, Bella has continued to wake up 4+ times each night the past few nights. And naps during the day are 45 minutes long at best, not allowing me much time to catch up on sleep.

Between having a cold/possibly teething/maybe another growth spurt, I have a fussier baby than normal and it's exhausting me. I find myself resentful of people whose babies sleep through the night. I also wonder why I didn't find the cure for cancer or figure out how to achieve world peace back when I slept over 8 hours a night. I know if I got 8 hours in a row now I'd be some sort of super mama with all the energy in the world.

8 hours of sleep in a row without waking up due to baby or boobs or bladder. I don't even remember the last time that happened. The Bush administration, perhaps? At this point I'd take a solid 4 hours in a row. Or even a cumulative 4 hours in a night.

I go back and forth between thinking there is something I'm not doing properly as a parent and thinking that this is simply a stage that Bella is going through. When she wakes up each time, I've been trying just to soothe her back to sleep without feeding her, but it doesn't work. The child wants to eat. I'm not comfortable letting her cry it out in the middle of the night, especially since she seems to be truly hungry. Maybe at 6 months. We'll see.

My mom says that I didn't sleep through the night until I was over a year old. Let's hope that is one genetic trait that skips a generation.

First Family Trip

Husband and I packed up and headed to Itasca State Park in Minnesota for the Labor Day weekend. The trip preparation was a little on the hellacious side because I needed to figure out everything we would need for baby (fan for white noise, several outfits for inevitable spitting up & poo leaks, pack 'n play, breast pump & bottles, bathtub...the list goes on and on). Then I also had to pack all the food for 3 days since we were staying in a cabin, plus my own things and a plethora of electronic equipment (video camera, point-and-shoot camera, Rebel camera, iPod player, laptop - obviously escaping to the woods is a little lost on us). It was all a bit much and the result was that Husband and I had our usual pre-vacation fight. The fight, which is practically scripted now that we've had it so much, goes something like this:

Laura (frantic): We need to organize everything and get moving! Now! Why are you being all slow and simple?
Husband (reverting to a Southern drawl like he had growing up in Virginia): Hey, now lil lady, we're on vacation. Just relax!
Laura (frantic and now irritated): We are NOT on vacation yet, as there are five million things to do.
Husband (Southern drawl-y and irritated): You need to relax because you are freaking out.
Laura: HISS! Do not tell me to relax. If I relaxed then nothing would get done!
Husband: I'm going to give you a time out. I'll see you when you are calmer.

Then 30 minutes later all issues are resolved and we merrily move along; until the next time we go on vacation. Circle of life, people!

So, anyway, we got up to our cabin at about 7 pm on Friday after dealing with some of the crappiest traffic I've ever seen in Minnesota. Bella did really well, despite our trip taking an extra hour and a half. The cabin was OK. Simple and basic. One major flaw, though, were the pillows. Each pillow had to weigh around 30 lbs. Did anyone else see the 20/20 special several years ago that revealed that hotel pillows are heavy due to years of dust mites accumulating in them? GROSS. So I refused to use the pillows o'mites. Luckily, I had brought the Boppy pillow (item #2534 brought for baby) so I slept on that. I heart you, Boppy!

[Random aside: The Boppy's number one competitor is called "My Brest Friend". Seriously. Spelled all wrong like that. I had heard good things about it, but I refused to register for it simply on the basis of it having a terrible, terrible name. Breasts (or should I say Brests?) should not have friends, let alone BFFs. WRONG.]

OK, now to the actual vacationing. We did a lot of outdoor type activities, which Bella loved.

We crossed the Mississippi Headwaters.
Took hikes with Bella in the Bjorn.


Admired trees:
(So I told Husband that I wanted to take a picture of Bella looking at the trees and he somehow got confused and looked at trees along with Bella. Haha. Oh Husband.)

Saw the pretty sights:



And even took a pontoon out on Lake Itasca and had a picnic.


Bella LOVED it when we put that tiny life jacket on her. She was laughing out loud and even charmed the 15-year-old boy helping us with the boat. You know your baby is being cute when a 15-year-old boy can't help but smile at her.



All and all, it was nice to get away and do something different. I'm not going to lie, though, it was really nice to get back home, too. Back to the glider, the swing, the stroller, the bouncy seat, our cats, and pillows that aren't full of dust mites. And back to the baby waking only 2-4 times a night instead of a solid 4-5 times each night. A vacation with a baby just isn't quite the same as vacations sans baby, you know?

So that was our Labor day weekend. How was yours?

Quarterly Report

Our first three months with Bella, in montage format:


Bella: The First Three Months from Laura on Vimeo.

The Return of Preggy Blonde?

Um...


OMG, I'm...






just kidding! Bwahahahahahaha.

Bet you practically snissed yourself with that news, eh? Can you imagine if I was PG again so soon? Both my uterus and I say a firm "No, thank you!" to that.

The real reason I brought up that photo is because it has been exactly one year since I found out that I was pregnant. You can read about that here. One year since Bella was begun. I can't believe that. It's overwhelming to think of all that has happened in the past year.

I don't think I ever went into any detail on Preggy Blonde about how I told Husband I was pregnant. I always knew that I wanted to tell him with some flair. After all, he got to plan the whole engagement thing and surprise me with that - so I knew I wanted to surprise him back. I started working on a photo montage of our life together during the summer of 2008, knowing that I would put the big "I'm pregnant" surprise at the end. I figured I would keep the montage on my computer until the month that I actually became pregnant and then show him all casual-like one day. I wanted him to be taken completely by surprise (well not completely since he was aware of the whole unprotected sex thing, but you know what I'm saying). On the morning I found out I was pregnant, I quickly took a picture of the positive pregnancy tests and added it into the photo montage. I then woke up Husband at 6:00 AM and told him I had made a really cool slide show and didn't he want to see?

Real smooth, right? Dude should have been suspicious right then and there, because have I ever woken him that early with random "I can do cool things with my computer!" news? I think not. In any event, he sleepily sat up and watched the video with me. At the end he turned to me and said something to the effect of, "Really?" and I gave a big nod and started crying. We watched it again together with more happy crying.

As exciting as that day was, one year ago, I prefer a day like today - just an average sort of day where I can hold my beautiful baby girl in my arms. Ah, life. [Insert contented sigh here.]

The photo montage I showed Husband last year, in case you haven't seen it:


Our Life from Laura on Vimeo.

I'm about to make you feel icky inside

Last spring, while pregnant, I had a dream that my cat Midgie was breastfeeding from me.


Oh, I'm sorry. Did that make you feel dirty and gross? Well, IMAGINE BEING THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY DREAMS IT!

Ick. I felt disturbed for a couple days and would give Midgie the side eye anytime she would hop up on the couch to snuggle up next to me. The most distinctive part of the dream was her sharp little teeth about to clamp down on the boob.

Where am I going with all of this? (Besides harboring a desire to make everyone else feel a little dirty and gross, just because I sometimes feel dirty and gross.) Well, I think Bella might be teething.

Typically, babies start teething at 7 months, but Husband started teething at 3 months and these things tend to be genetic (and she has clearly already taken after him in terms of being a humongous baby). She has been more agitated the past few days and wants to bite down pretty hard on our fingers. Auntie S. said that her gums look like a tooth could be trying to break through. It might still be a few months before we see a tooth, but, who knows, she could be sprouting a pearly white or two in a matter of weeks.

So that's where that creepy dream comes in. I will soon be breastfeeding something with teeth. While it won't be as scary as breastfeeding my cat (GAH GAH GAH CREEPY), I'm still scared for the inevitable biting of the boobies. To those who've been there: Is it as bad as I'm fearing?

And just for fun - what was the creepiest dream you had while pregnant?

Milk Collection

Yesterday Husband and I were giving Bella her bath (she gets a daily bath in the evening as part of her bedtime routine just because she loves bath time so very much) and I discovered something rather...unsavory, shall we say. There was quite a bit of dried, old milk behind Bella's ears.

I know! Unsavory, right? And how unfit-to-be-parents of us, letting our child accumulate milk behind her ears. It could have turned into cheese or something, just hanging out back there. We have been so conscientious to clean carefully in all her chubby rolls - even taking care to lift her chubby cheeks (of the face variety) up in order to clean her neck. But the ears. The ears were missed. So let that be a lesson to all you other new parents.

Hmmm...what else is new? Let's talk about sleep, shall we? Bella was doing great with sleep around 8 weeks - sleeping up to 8 hours a night. It was awesome. Then we told the pediatrician about how great she was doing and the 7-8 hours stretches promptly stopped. I can count on one hand the number of 6 hour stretches she has had in the past several weeks. She tends to have one 4-5 hour stretch after we put her down at 8 pm and then is up every 2-3 hours, for a total of 2-4 times each night. I don't know the reason for the change. Being scientific-like, Husband and I exhaust ourselves with the theorizing (It's because she napped longer today! It's because she didn't nap long enough today! It's because she's about to start teething! She's too cold! She's too hot! The cat looked at her funny and her feelings are hurt!), but we can't reach any conclusion. Darn those babies with their resistance to us doing controlled experiments. Why must they insist on constantly changing thereby preventing proper data collection?

So, that's what's new at the Mothership. A little bit of sleep deprivation and a little bit of crusty, old milk. Now I must be off to clean carefully behind my own ears, in fear that there will be a frightening accumulation of a lifetime of debris back there. I'll let you know how it all turns out.