Today's post comes from my good friend and fellow dietitian-turned-stay-at-home-mom, Susan. Susan and I met 8 years ago during our dietetic internship. We were two of four interns and we bonded pretty much instantly, especially since the other two interns were much older. Our internship was very demanding, but Susan and I managed to make it through those 10 months with lots of humor and regular consumption of Little Debbie Snacks. Pretty sure there is no more appropriate snack for a nutrition intern than a Nutty Bar or Swiss Cake Rolls. Ha! Now that Susan and I both have charming and active toddler girls, it has been so much fun to see our daughters develop a friendship of their own. The last time we hung out just a few weeks ago, our daughters were spontaneously hugging each other and holding hands. Both Susan and I were kind of blown away by how sweet it was to watch our girls really become buds.
Today Susan is requesting some help and advice on how to work with her picky eater. I KNOW many of you have been in her shoes at some point or are currently there today. So please comment away with some tips that helped you get through this challenging stage!
Things were so simple prior to my child turning one. She depended on me to feed her whether it was breast milk or solid foods. I made 90% of her baby food myself. She ate everything except for green beans. Meal times were messy—but pleasant. She loved her finger foods—puffs, grated cheese, little pieces of bread, cereal, etc. When it came time to introducing more table foods she was really resistant. At her first birthday she only had two teeth, so I figured her lack of enthusiasm was partly due to some chewing issues. She would spit out anything that needed to be chewed unless it was something dry like a cracker or cereal. So I continued to feed her pureed food as she would eat it. Gradually she started disliking her veggie purees and I hoped that meant she was ready to eat soft cooked veggies. She disliked most but would eat peas, asparagus, and sweet corn. She had great enthusiasm for all fruits and would eat fruit in non-pureed form. I kept thinking that this season would pass and she would eventually like normal food. She is now two and a half and her food aversions have not improved. She still loves all fruit and consumes it in large quantities. The only meat I can get her to eat are chicken fries (chicken strips in the shape of a fry). She loves cheese and breads. Breakfast is her best meal of the day as she likes all breakfast foods like pancakes, waffles, cereal, etc. She almost always likes macaroni and cheese although it can only be the kind from the box. If the macaroni is in a different shape she will not touch it.
Needless to say, mealtimes are pleasant if I give her foods that I know she always eats or they are scream fits where she might not even sit down at the table. I can put other foods on her plate but she will just take them off her plate and say “no thank you!” She refuses to try new things. Lately I have been putting only protein foods on her plate first and if she eats them, then I will let her have some fruit and bread.
Making a nutritious smoothie is not an option as she is deathly afraid of the blender. The other day while I was putting away dishes she started crying and shaking in the kitchen. I could not figure out what was wrong--then I looked in my hand and I was holding the blender jar.
Sneaking meats or veggies into favorite foods like mac and cheese doesn’t work either. Instead of picking out what she doesn’t like, she will refuse to eat at all. “Nooooo! I don’t like it!”
I have a four year degree in dietetics and am a Registered Dietitian and my kid is a crappy eater. I feel like a complete failure. I love cooking and make fantastic meals and she sticks her nose up at all of them. Has anyone been in my shoes? Any success stories for getting over the picky eating? Do I just leave it alone and she’ll eventually get over it? Anyone have a good recipe for meat or vegetable cupcakes? Because she loooooooves cupcakes!
Oh man...this is so tough. First things first - You are not a dietitian failure or a mommy failure. What you are experiencing in the sometimes crappy reality that comes with trying to balance your own knowledge with the challenge of your child's disposition, preferences and personality. As a fellow RD myself - I struggled a lot during my now-toddlers first year as he was not interested in eating ANYTHING (beyond breastmilk when nursing). He would take one-two bites of anything and then that was it. Back to non-stop nursing. He was a big baby, so I was not too worried...but the uncertainty of when things would change had me worried and seeing how other kids LOVED food and he had no interest made me wonder if he was normal or if something was indeed wrong. Anyway...All I am saying is that I have been there and found myself thinking, "What good was my four years of nutrition education if I can't even get my own kid to eat!"
ReplyDeleteNow some advise - Have you read any books by Ellen Satter? I highly recommend any/all of her books and the techniques they describe for feeding children. Some of what is presenting will be old-hat for you given your background, but I think you might find the overall messages helpful and reassuring. I have an RD friend who worked for several years in a child-feeding clinic and she basically considers these books to be THE BIBLE of what to do with picky eaters.
Also, and maybe you have already tried this - but my little guy went through a stage where he seemed to hate things that were mixed together or combination foods. Like - If we were having a pasta salad for dinner he would eat everything if I give him some pasta, veggies, etc separated on this plate - but mixed together he was like WHAT???? This stage passed quickly, but I accommodated him figuring that as long as he tried to eat bits of each item, what did it matter if it was mixed. Slowly I started giving more and more mixed foods and now he will eat basically anything.
Finally - I do have a good friend who lives in the cities who used to work as an RD at a child's feeding clinic. She works in a different area of nutrition now, but becomes overly excited when presenting with the opportunity to talk about kids eating with anyone (are all RD's nerds at heart?) and I am sure she would love to talk your ear off about ideas if you are interested. Let Laura know if this seems like something you would like to do and we can be in touch through e-mail to exchange contacts.
Any lastly - like everything with kids, this whole eating thing is probably just another season in the life of your kid. Because you are a good parent it will consume you - you will fret and worry and wring your hands and before you know it she will be on to making you nervous about something new and different. Keep it up Mama...you are doing good to care and question and love.
The Jessica Seinfeld book "deceptively delicious" is pretty good. The amounts of purred food that she puts in are not enough for my taste, so I add way more, but for a picky eater they might be just enough to work some veggies in! The butternut squash french toast is my favorite!
ReplyDeleteI was just going to say "deceptively Delicious" would be worth checking out. I see the comment above me said the same thing. I tried the sweet potato grilled cheese. My daughter isn't picky (but I am) and we both ate it. I've also added pureed sweet potato to mac & cheese and none of us knew. Check the book out of the library and check it out (and they do have brownies with veggies in it!)
ReplyDeleteThe Sneaky Chef has some great purees. You can add white bean puree to your mac and cheese, sweet potato puree to your pasta sauce, spinach and blueberries to brownies and there is something that you can add to cupcakes but I cannot remember off of the top of my head. Good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteI know how tough of a situation food can be, and I don't even have a very picky eater. My kid definitely has her favorites though, and some nights just refuses to eat at all. It is maddening. We basically follow the Ellyn Satter food advice referred to above - it is your job to provide healthy choices, it is their job to eat. So if she doesn't eat, that's it. It's worked okay so far, but the nights she doesn't eat are hard (although they are few and far between - usually she'll eat SOMETHING) - My kid isn't even 18 months yet though, so I know far pickier stages could be coming! Can't wait...
ReplyDeleteAs for cupcakes, one of my favorite kid food blogs, Weelicious, just posted this one that might be worth a try!
weelicious.com/2011/06/15/red-beet-cupcakes/
Muffins are also a great way to get in some veggies - you could do carrot or zucchini in there.
Oh my gosh - we are just in the beginning stages of solids with our little Peanut! I can't wait to keep going, but I feel like she is already starting to be picky! Tonight we tried to feed her squash but she had no interest so we had to switch to Yams, her favorite so far.
ReplyDeleteAre you still looking for guest posters?
My advice is just to ride it out and slowly try offering new/different things. I know, I know- easier said than done! Don't beat yourself up over her not eating. One great piece of wisdom an ECFE teacher told me was that sometimes we look at what our kids are doing now and project that behavior into the future. We need to remember that a toddler who won't eat anything will not be a teenager who won't eat anything. Sure, she may still be picky, but she'll eventually eat solid food like everyone else.
ReplyDeleteIf you want some real advice about what we do when our daughter won't eat, here it is. One thing we do is play games with our food, which I know isn't for everyone! If I see that my daughter isn't eating her cooked carrots, I'll say, "I eat a carrot, you eat a carrot. Go!" Usually she picks up a piece of carrot and shoves it in, but sometimes it still doesn't work :) I'll also combine something that she really likes with whatever it is she doesn't want to eat. The other day I put a "blueberry hat" on her asparagus and she finally ate it all up.
Another thing, does your daughter like beans? I find that my daughter can be weird about meat (I think it's the texture), but she loooooves beans.
Susan - I had a thought. Does Megan go for popsicles? Maybe you could blend up a smoothie type blend at night or naptime when she won't be traumatized by the noise and then you can freeze the mixture into popsicle molds. Could experiment w/a little sweet potatoes/spinach/etc mixed with the fruit.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if one day Megan will eat something she wouldn't touch in the past and then she'll keep going from there. Granted it might take another (incredibly frustrating) year, but I do suspect this phase will pass. I wonder also if starting pre-school will change habits - she'll want to eat like all the other kids!
Good luck and hang in there!! :)
@ Kat - I am all set on guest posters, but thanks for checking!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for your input!
ReplyDeleteKatie-- Yes I have read the Ellen books. I even went to a day long workshop several years ago (in my pre-Mommy years). I think I need to revisit them though. One thing in her philosophy that hasn't worked is having all food available for that meal out and then she chooses what to eat. If I do that, she only eats fruit or only eats cheese and declares she's "All done!" If I keep fruit and cheese away, and give her a "main course" type thing, she'll eat that, and then eat her fruit and cheese (or whatever). Thanks for the encouragement. And I would be interested in emailing your RD friend for some support/answer questions etc. I'll email Laura about it. Thanks!!
Brady and Amy-- Yes I've heard of that book and may have to check it out.
Erin-- I'll have to check that website out. Thanks!
Kat-- I often found that mixing some of the purees like putting something sweet like applesauce with squash, can help if she isn't that fond of it. I think part of my "shock" at Megan's poor eating habits is that as a baby, she ate everything and loved it. I think I assumed that would continue.
Crystal-- great advice from ECFE--- I LOVE ECFE! We've started playing more games at meals too. Usually threatening to eat her food then she'll eat it (of course hasn't worked with "new" things yet but maybe we'll get there).
Laura--Hmmm.. she's never had a popscicle but she loves ice cream. That might work. Yes I'm hoping the positive peer pressure from pre-school might help. I wonder if she was in daycare if she'd be a totally different eater.
Thanks again everyone!
--Susan (for some reason this won't post under my name and I had to pick Anonymous! Weird!)