Keeping the Romance Alive

Poor Husband. Not only is he being forced by his work to stay in a hotel in this obviously sketchy Paris 'hood...

But he has missed important milestones in both of our children's lives. Moments like "baby's first cold" (devoting 3 scrapbook pages to that!) and "Toddler gets last two molars and adopts hellion-like attitude in the process." There is nothing I can do for him to help him experience those days that he missed, aside from some dramatic role-playing where he can play me and I can play the children. That might be nice.

It's been hard being separated from my trulov4eva for these past six days. And that is mostly because who is there to dump the crying baby on when you have had it up to your eyeballs with fussiness I miss all the time we spend gazing into each others eyes and cooing.

Coo. Coo. How I love you.

This afternoon we weren't going to let an ocean keep us apart. We kept our love alive by texting pictures to each other.

ZOMG. No. Dirty bird. Not sexting. TEXTING. This is what Husband sent me.

I obviously made fun of his facial expression loved it. He asked me to reciprocate in kind and send him a picture of me.

I fluffed my hair, put on my prettiest smile and sent this:

Romance, people. That is my message for you. I hope I inspired at least one of you to text the very special someone in your life a creepy doll picture. May your special someone also narrowly miss spitting wine all over the table whilst out in public.

Coo,
The Mothership

Weekly Plans & Deep Thoughts on Pioneers

I find myself spending a truly bizarre amount of time thinking about pioneers ever since Oliver was born. Like every time I would start thinking about how hard things were with the postpartum hormones + thrush + anemia, I would then tell myself, "BUT WHAT IF I WERE A PIONEER?"

I don't know why/how this helps, but it does a little? And I can't say why/how this is an appropriate frame of reference in which to gain perspective, but it works?

So my current challenge is that I'm single parenting for six days while Husband is in Paris. (YES. Paris. Like he is a few blocks from the Champs D'Elysees. And I just spelled that right on my first try and AREN'T YOU PROUD, Madame Shipp?) I do have a baby sitter helping me with Bella for a few hours most days (she basically takes Bella out and runs her, active puppy-style) so it's hardly like I'm totally on my own, but there is still A LOT of hours where I am taking care of two needy little ones. Especially when they like to keep opposite sleeping hours. (WHYYYYYY?) But then I throw in a, "BUT WHAT IF I WERE A PIONEER?" and I think of the cows that I didn't have to milk this morning and the butter I didn't have to churn and the wheat I didn't have to grind and the pig bladder I didn't have to fill with air for Bella to play with and, DUDE - Ain't no big thang being on my own right now!

Pioneer Perspective Prescription. You try it.

(Except it's not working right now and I apparently have to jiggle Oliver while walking around the room yet again and COME HOME, HUSBAND! COME HOME!!!!!!!!! Ugh. This is hard. Pioneer Schmioneer.)

(Home again after taking a walk to buy over-priced organic raspberries and peruse double strollers. Did the Ingalls have a choice between a City Mini or a Double BOB? I THINK NOT!)

Anyway, this long intro is to clarify why my meals plans & exercise plans fell a bit short towards the end of last week. Also? I'm off dairy (oh, I weep) for a couple weeks to see if that can fully resolve Oliver's digestive issues.  I've been dairy-free since Saturday and that explains my less than balanced meals (most of our freezer stuff has at least a little dairy). Plus, when I eat alone I often eat really unbalanced and random. Oopsie. Will try harder this week.

Here is how last week went:

Meal Plan
Monday- Indian Dal & Chana Masala with Basmati (from freezer), Cucumber Salad
Tuesday- Beet & Nectarine Salad
Wednesday- Zucchini Fritters, Corn on the Cob, Fresh Tomatoes
Thursday- Hungarian Stoup (from freezer) Kale & Veggie Lasagna with Salad
Friday- Pizza Few bites Bella's Mac & Cheese, Random Things
Saturday- Take Out Grocery Store Sushi
Sunday- Veggie Lasagna (from freezer) & Salad Kashi cereal & coconut milk with handful of cashews


Exercise Plan
Monday- Couch25K 2.2 Run 20 min, Walk 10
Tuesday- Shred 1.1
Wednesday- Couch25K 2.3 Couch25K 4.1
Thursday- Shred 1.2
Friday- Couch25K 3.1
Saturday- Shred 1.3 Couch25K 4.2
Sunday - Couch25K 3.2

Exercise stuff obviously changed. When I was doing the Couch-to-5K on Monday I realized that I had accidentally continued jogging when I wasn't supposed to, so I just kept on going for another 15 minutes. That told me that I was more than capable of skipping ahead. So I decided to focus more on getting back to running longer periods of time and I'll hold off on starting the Shred for a couple weeks. I did take the kids out on stroller walks most days (didn't bother to track), but any other exercise was really challenging to fit in given the solo parenting situation. However, 47-lbs-of-combined-kids and 47 stairs in my townhome mean I am constantly doing resistance training even when I really, really don't want to.

Next Week's Plans

Meal Plan
Monday- Burrito Bowl from Chipotle
Tuesday- Roasted Tomato, Basil & White Bean Pasta
Wednesday- Avocado BLTs
Thursday- Asian Rice Noodle Dish (need to find recipe), Salad with Carrot-Ginger Dressing
Friday- Grilled fish, quinoa, green beans
Saturday- Take Out?
Sunday-Tequila Chicken Fajitas with Guac

For more info about my meal planning system, check out this post.

Exercise Plan
Monday- Off
Tuesday- Couch25K 5.1
Wednesday-Baby Yoga
Thursday-Couch25K 5.2
Friday-Walk
Saturday- Couch25K 5.3
Sunday -Walk

Not writing it in specifically, but will try to get walks in with the kids each day, too.

Oliver's First Week Video

I promised myself that I would try my best to keep up on the videos & monthly letters with Oliver. And I'm doing it! Delayed and slow-poke style, but that still counts right?

This (fairly short, promise) video also includes Bella meeting Oliver for the first time. Once again, I get 10 gold stars if you tear up a bit at work and then have to feel awkward about it.


Oliver's First Week from Laura on Vimeo.

And here is Bella's First Week, if you missed it the first time around.


Arabella Grace from Laura on Vimeo.

Now I'm all emoooootional so I need to eat some cookies. (I was going to go eat cookies anyway.)

The My Brest Friend People Contacted Me

And they are so pissed about what I wrote.

KIDDING! No, a marketing person wrote and said that they want to offer my readers a 20% discount off their website. SCORE. Enter MBF20 at checkout at their website. So I feel a little baddish about making fun of their name, but it's all good. For them, brest is best.

In other random news...

• Bella is up and potty-trained. Like BOOM. We told her we would give her a present on Monday night if she used the potty and wore her faboo undies all day. So she did with only one pee accident. And then did it again on Tuesday and Wednesday. And again today. No accident besides the one time. No diaper at naps even and she held it all last night (though we are using a diaper at night). She is down with using public bathrooms (ew) and does really well with telling us when she needs to go, although we are prompting her like crazy.  So I guess that's done? Weird. But not so surprising since she has been using the potty at least once a day since she was 18-months-old. It was probably my lazy ways that held her back. I confess to putting it off forever because I didn't want to deal with cleaning poop out of the little potty when I had the pukes and/or dealing with public bathrooms more than I already was while super pregnant.

• I squeezed myself into a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans and wore them for a walk this week. The muffin top was epic - like Perkin's-sized muffin top. But I did it! YAHOO! 

What kind of omelet would you like with your muffin?

• Speaking of muffins, I decided that it's high time to get my ragamuffin wardrobe fancified. Yes, my figure is going to be somewhat wonky for another year or two due to breastfeeding, but my clothes are in bad shape. I never really bought more clothes for my stay-at-home mom gig beyond a Target t-shirt or twelve. My plan is to buy one nice thing a month to keep from feeling overwhelmed (I hates the shopping). This month will be this cardi from J. Crew. Blogger refuses to let me center this picture so FINE, irritating left justification it is.

•  A bullet point to say that I hate that bullet point randomly there under the sweater, but Blogger insists it's for the best. I have learned it's best not to challenge Big Blogger too much.

• Back to the clothes. Next month Imma gonna get me some lulumons. After that I also want to get new jeans, nice flats, boots, new wool coat AND down coat (it's been over 10 years...I live in Minnesota...I think it's time), and more sweaters. Oh, and this swimsuit as long as it works with my longest torso in the world and isn't a one-way ticket to wedgie city.   I'm excited for new clothes but not really at the thought of spending that money, even though Husband and I have budgeted for it. What's this buying clothing hang up that I have? Someone want to be my personal shopper and email me things that will look good on me? I'll pay you in...uh...high fives!

• While we are (sort-of) on the topic of swimsuits and wedgie-city, remember bodysuits? I was all over those despite the longest torso in the world, thus I often had a half circle of skin getting exposed on my sides because it was stretched to it's limit. This bodysuit-wearing occurred circa 1993, a time when I was trying to decide between being "preppy" or "alternative" (aka "A"). It was very much like I was trying to be both a part of the Jets and the Sharks or the Socs and the Greasers, whichever your personal fictitious preference. Like I would be pretending to smoke re-frys (cigarettes that random people had smoked - OMFG) outside the Fryin' Pan in a hoodie and baggie jeans on some days (so "A"!) and then going to pizza hut with church people in full Gap wear on other days. So how does a 9th grader dress to reflect this situation when in school, a land where the two opposing forces meet? Like so: the aforementioned bodysuit, super baggy Limited jeans (1 pt for preppy since the were from The Limited and one point on the "A" side for being baggy), an oversized flannel shirt, and paisley, velvet Vans. I was a viola-toting vision.

• Also? Bodysuits are simply glorified onesies. Girl, you know it's true. 

One Caillou, Two Caillous, Three Caillous, or Four?

Last weekend Husband and I were talking about the ways we have made each other better and worse. On the better side, Husband has taught me how to not to be a snobby ice queen when interacting with people I don't know well. It's not that I was a snobby ice queen, I'm just more introverted and find chit-chat exhausting, so...yeah. I would come off as a bee-yotch sometimes. I have taught him more effective ways to have an argument (i.e. talk it through calmly and walk away to cool down and gather your thoughts as needed). On the make-each-other-worse side there are a few glaring examples. After moving in together I began to have a glass of wine (or two) each night, whereas before I was only an occasional drinker. Husband never ate dessert in such hearty portions on a daily basis before me. I never watched movies at night as often; I would have been reading instead. And Husband didn't watch TV - didn't even OWN a TV - until we moved in together.

And that's what I want to talk about today: TV. Before I got pregnant with Bella, Husband was very firm that he wanted minimal TV for our kids and that he wanted to wait until the 2-year-mark to introduce it. Studies cited, blah, blah. His sister had done it with his nephew and to him it felt important that we did the same. Since he felt so strongly about it, I wasn't going to argue with him, but I did have a more whatevs approach on the kids-and-TV-front. However, since TV wasn't that big of a deal to me - I'm a book person at heart - I was fine going along with it. But then after getting pregnant and having Bella, I went through what can only be called something of a withdrawal period as I adjusted to not being able to turn on the TV whenever I wanted. I can't take advantage of day-time TV being a SAHM? Buzzkill. We did keep the TV on in the early days of nursing, but then when she got to be more aware around the 2 month mark or so, the TV stayed off in her presence. Not surprisingly, I adjusted and the thought to turn on the TV doesn't cross my mind most days. Probably helps that our sweet media set up is limited to a tiny cheap TV mounted above the treadmill and a 10-year-old random-brand TV I bought at Office Max for $80. We don't have DVR - or even a DVD player - and while we do have cable as part of our HOA fees, there are only a few channels we watch (HGTV, Food Network, Discovery, History). So for the most part it's Netflix on my aging MacBook Pro. We have to turn off the A/C and dishwasher and close all windows to even hear a movie and half the time that's not enough so we turn on the captions. Like I said: Sa-weeeeet!

We kept up with not letting Bella watch TV until she was 18 months, at which point we started to try to TV because it just seemed like too good of a tool not to use once two kids arrived. Plus - we weren't exactly worried about stunting her language at that point. So we started up a show on Netflix. Which she didn't want to watch for more than 5 minutes.

Remember that? When I was all "I HAVE TO TEACH MY KID HOW TO WATCH TV!" Little Miss No-Independent-Play just wasn't digging it at first. Since then, with regular and diligent practice (ha!), she has adjusted to watching some shows, although she is picky. Yes to Caillou, maybe to Dora, Barney, or Thomas, and an inexplicable no to funny creature shows like Yo Gabba Gabba. Bella has only watched two movies from start to finish and that was in a few sittings and she wanted us to fast forward through parts that were boring (i.e. any non-monkey parts of the Curious George movie). I'm not really worried about her going hog wild and wanting to watch hours of TV everyday - I don't think it's in her nature.

But yesterday I really started thinking - what is my limit? Until Oliver came I tried to keep it to less than half an hour a day, maybe two shows on rough days. But what about now that things are trickier with a newborn on the scene? Where do I draw the line at how much TV I let her watch? This was triggered from something of a challenging day - not super hard, just demanding. Between Bella's near-potty-trained-state (holla!) and a new molar coming in and Oliver's recent foray into fussiness and the infernal CSA veggies that needed attending, I found myself letting Bella watch four separate shows on Netflix yesterday.

I stood there at the kitchen counter in the afternoon, making veggie lasagna and grating surplus zucchini while half-heartedly interacting with her as she watched Dora. I tried to decide the cost-benefit analysis of what I was doing. If I didn't do this chore now - then when? If I didn't use up these veggies, they would go to waste and so would that money that we already spent on them. And these are healthy vegetables to feed the whole family so that's obviously a good thing. But she was heading towards two hours of TV that day - did that make it OK? My gut says no. Not for us, anyway. Something about getting into that habit felt like a slippery slope. Plus, Bella gets crabbier with TV use. Sad (for me) but true.

Right now some of these dilemmas are temporary. Oliver will settle into a routine and my evenings won't revolve around jiggling him and pacing the living room floor. Bella will continue to sloooooowly learn to play independently and also become a better helper, thus allowing me to actually get things done. But then winter - dreadful, hateful winter- will arrive and with it many more hours to fill inside. What will be my limit then? And I really think I need to set one for myself to know when I'm crossing the line from using TV wisely to abusing it. Otherwise I'll be left with a vague guilty feeling no matter how much I let her watch. (Can you tell I'm a former Catholic and a type-A personality?) I do think some TV is good for my soul....

So here is where I am feeling nosey. What's your limit? How has this changed for you and your family over the years? Where do you start to feel uncomfortable and a touch guilty about how much TV your kids are watching? If you are a no-TV household with two kids - any tips on how you manage to get things accomplished while taking care of both kids? Any fun systems for kids earning TV/gaming privileges if you have older kids? If you could also share how many kids you have (if any) and their ages that might be useful to everyone. I DO NOT want anyone to feel judged by this - we are all just doing our thing! For some of us, TV is 100% OK but crying-it-out is not. For others it's the opposite. Or maybe both are good or neither are acceptable in your book. I'm just trying to figure out this little piece of the parenting puzzle for myself and you all are my homeys (homies?) who always give me good food for thought. But if sharing this info makes you twitchy, by all means go anonymous.

It's showtime, Synergy: Can you share your thoughts?

Awesome Newborn Things, In My Completely Unhumble Opinion

I bought a few new things for Baby 2.0 and they have proven to be very handy. (Handy. Creepy word, yes?) Consider this post a household tip, yo.

My Brest Friend Deluxe Pillow

Oh, makers of the My Brest Friend - WHY? Why the terrible name? It's not even spelled right! And with a "my" that makes one think of the sadness that is their missing pretty pony collection. (WHERE OH WHERE HAS MY COTTON CANDY PRETTY PONY GONE?)  I hope there have been some changes in the marketing department since you initially launched? The only reason I opted for a Boppy over the My Brest Friend the first time around was that I could not fathom purchasing or registering for something called My Brest Friend. My breasts? They do not want friends. (They want lovahs.) (Ahem.) But this name judging on my part was not fair - after all, I married a man whose named is often accidentally pronounced as a really not pretty part of one's anatomy (i.e. something like Bunghole). But it turns out that My Brest Friend is superior to the Boppy. I prefer that it's a much firmer pillow and you can attach it around yourself, a true must have if you also possess one of the longest torsos in the world, like me. The best part about my new bff is that every time I strap it on I pretend that I am a peanut vendor at a baseball game and I shout out "Peanuts" in my best booming stadium voice. Husband is confused by this every. single. time. and yet doesn't question why I'm shouting "Peanuts!" randomly. This, my friends, is symbolic of our relationship together.

Arm's Reach Mini Co-Sleeper Bassinet

Since Bella turned jumbo shortly after birth, she had to sleep in the bottom of the pack-n-play rather than staying in the bassinet part (15 lb limit) after just a couple months. For THREE MONTHS I would lift her out of the bottom of that thing several times a night when I needed to feed her milk-greedy self. My back was shot to hell and I would shake my fist at the night sky in a fury each time I stood up after trying to oh-so-gently place her back in there (not so rational in those days). I don't and won't have those problems with the Arm's Reach. It's set up right next to me so I can bring Oliver into the bed for nursing or soothing and also easily place him back in there. The weight limit of 23 lbs is going to hit us sooner than ideal due to Oliver also being jumbo-sized, but maybe by then we'll be ready to transition him to his crib.

 Apple iPhone

 

Oh, first-world must haves. But this really has gone far to keep me sane. It's hard to breastfeed and read a book in the early months and it's harder to try to check your email or read blogs on a computer. Just not enough hands. My iPhone is right there to entertain me while nursing at night. It also gives me a spot to keep all those random "Oh yeah!" thoughts that pop up so that I don't forget to do certain things or buy something the next time we are at Target. And let's not forget the obsessive googling you can do in the middle of the night! (OK, so that's a bad thing.) This is my favorite item on this list.

Nursing Clothes

I made do with scoop-neck or v-neck t-shirts with Bella, but this time I'm going to have to do more nursing when we are out and about (not excited about that at all - I find keeping my huge boobs covered to be a big challenge), so I needed something that would make my life easier. I was originally going to buy a couple nursing t-shirts from Milkstars, but at $60s a pop they are just too expensive. Then I discovered Milk Nursing Wear and I bought a dress and a t-shirt.

 They work well now in spite of a lumpy-bumpy postpartum figure and they will work when I'm back to my regular size.

Your brest friend,
Laura

Weekly Plans

One of the biggest signs that I was feeling 100% recovered from the anemia/postpartum issues was when I wrote out a weekly meal plan last week. To see that posted on the fridge each time I was in the kitchen made me happy - I hadn't done that since May (right about when 3rd tri nausea started).

Anyway, here are my plans for the week, both meal and exercise.

Meal Plan
Monday- Indian Dal & Chana Masala with Basmati (from freezer), Raita (Cucumber Salad)
Tuesday- Beet & Nectarine Salad
Wednesday- Zucchini Fritters, Corn on the Cob
Thursday- Hungarian Stoup (from freezer)
Friday- Pizza
Saturday- Take Out
Sunday- Veggie Lasagna (from freezer) & Salad

For more info about my meal planning system, check out this post.

Exercise Plan
Monday- Couch25K 2.2
Tuesday- Shred 1.1
Wednesday- Couch25K 2.3
Thursday- Shred 1.2
Friday- Couch25K 3.1
Saturday- Shred 1.3
Sunday - Couch25K 3.2

I did well last week and worked out most days, but did have some challenges finding time - especially when I try to figure in my own meals and nursing times. It will get easier and I just have to make it happen. I'll put this over in the side bar again this week for extra motivation.

Weekend Instagrams

A collection of all the instagrams (iPhone app) I took this weekend. However, I can't post this without sharing that Husband and I are processing the news that a friend/acquaintance of his passed away unexpectedly this morning. My heart goes out to his family as they begin to grieve the tremendous loss of a husband and a father. Life is so confusing and unfair sometimes. Husband and I find ourselves reluctant to be apart from each other and keep saying, "I love you" practically every hour.

Hug the ones you love extra close tonight.

Bella Lately

I feel like I'm going to be forgetting all sorts of things now that I am not writing monthly letters to Bella. I need to write this stuff down, before it slips away from my mind forever.

• We stopped to watch the big construction vehicles working at Boom Island Park while on a walk last week. I made a comment about the "scooper" and Bella turned to me and said, "No, Mama. That's a bulldozer." Schooled by the 2-year-old! Later as I told the family about it, she said, "I teach you, Mama."
• Yesterday we heard a noise nearby and she said, "That's a chainsaw!" It totally was. She learned about a chainsaw one time  3 weeks ago when we heard one at a lake cabin we were staying at. Steel trap of a brain, that one.
• Bella remains a champion eater. She will have days where she won't eat much or acts somewhat picky, but it's inevitably balanced out by days where she eats really well all day. The other day I ordered lunch for us to share without even thinking about whether she would like it or not...because she almost always is willing to eat something. That particular day it was a curried chicken sandwich, which she happily gobbled up. What else will she eat? Indian food including dal (lentils) with spinach or keema (ground beef dish with Indian spices), pesto pasta with sundried tomatoes, mushrooms and chicken, plain kefir (ick!), spicy Chipotle burrito bowls...she eats it all including plain vegetables. Her favorite foods are probably "tex-mex" (beans, rice, salsa, cheese mixed together), blueberries (all fruit really), and sweets.
• Unsurprisingly, Bella is a robust 32 lbs and hovers right at the top of the charts for weight. This is as opposed to when she was hovering off in space on the weight chart, which was most of her life. :) And it's not just cute chub, she is super muscular and strong. The other day she dragged a 10 lb weight out from under a dresser and started carrying it across the room. EEK! Weights now relocated to the basement.
• Bella started up that great tradition of children everywhere where she brings everything into her bed for naps and bedtime. Husband even caught her trying to drag her sit-to-stand walker into her tiny bed the other day via the monitor. Hilarious. When Husband was putting her to bed earlier this week, she hopped out and started grabbing books to bring into bed. "Need to read books, Daddy." When he said that she wasn't going to be able to see the books once he turned off the light, she gave him a look and said, "I'm just pretending to read, Daddy." DUH, Daddy!
•  We play pretend all day long. Pretend cooking. Pretend sleeping.  Pretend there is a bumblebee on her hand. Pretend people have arrived at the house to visit. She even has an imaginary friend named Caillou who needs his own seat sometimes at meals and enjoys a good round of Ring Around the Rosie (we make a space for him and most certainly hold his hand). No clue where she got that name. None at all. 

• We are in the midst of potty training. Well, kind of. We have been half assing it for months now because I was the one not fully ready to commit. Anyway, the other day Bella told me that she didn't need to use the potty. Then she said, "Bella needs to go on the potty at the park." Tricky, small fry, very tricky.
• Bella was in my room with me and Oliver when I heard Husband calling Bella's name. I told Bella, "Quick, Daddy's going to leave to get the mail without you!" She let out a "Oh goodness!" and huffed off. The random 70-year-old busybody-type mannerisms just kill me.
• My sister asked to have a small piece of the zucchini bread Bella was eating. Bella's response, "Of course you can!" It should be noted that just earlier the answer to sharing her bread was, "No! Dat's Bella's bread."

• When she met Oliver my mother-in-law asked her,  "Is he a keeper?" Bella's reply? "No, he's a baby."
• This is what happens when you ask her to smile.

(A totally creepy picture of Oliver, to be sure.)

• And this is what happened when I asked her to pose for the camera at the lake cabin.

• Bella is a ham and a born performer. When she sings songs to a group (not an infrequent event) she will slowly turn and make eye contact with each person.

Modeling with her kill. (This was a random stuffed bear at the lake cabin.)

She is such a nutter and we love her so much.

CSA Recipes #2

A few more CSA recipes. I'm a little disappointed in what we've been getting from our farm, but I'm hoping the variety will change with the seasons. I'd love tomatoes and some fruit, but so far it's an intense world of kale, summer squash, zucchini, and cucumbers. I am already at capacity with our freezer from how many squash & zucchini I've frozen.

Quiche Cups with Zucchini, Roasted Red Pepper & White Cheddar

CSA Ingredient: Zucchini

These came out delicious and have me wondering why I bother with crust most of the time. My original plan was to keep them in the freezer and feed them to Bella in the mornings, but maybe I'll eat them myself if I can get over my eggs-in-the-microwave aversion.

Recipe: Heat oven to 350 and spray muffin tins generously with cooking spray. Beat 6 eggs & 1.5 cups milk (whatever combo you want of milk and/or half & half, even cream will work). Add 4 oz shredded cheese and veggies of your choice - I did 3 diced roasted red peppers and one small shredded zucchini. Put ~ 1/3 cup mixture in each muffin tin. Bake ~40 minutes or until a knife inserted in center comes out clean. Makes 12.

Squash Bread with Blueberries

CSA Ingredient: Yellow Squash

My recipe modifications were to up the shredded squash by an additional 1/2-3/4 cup, use a combo of agave nectar & brown sugar in place of white sugar, add frozen blueberries and half the nutmeg. Turned out pretty good, though I do prefer zucchini bread.

Blueberry Zucchini Bread
CSA Ingredient: Zucchini

Yum.

Veggie Quesadillas with Homemade Guacamole

CSA Ingredients: Zucchini & Squash

A major staple in our hizzouse.

Roasted Beet & Nectarine Salad

CSA Ingredient: Beets

Another staple. I LOVED this salad while pregnant. Now I just lower-case love it.

Kale Chips
CSA Ingredient: Kale (duh)

This was my second time cooking them and I'm still not really a fan. Anyone have a fool proof kale chip recipe? I've been tossing with olive oil, sprinkling with salt and then baking at 350 for 10 minutes. Or maybe I am just anti-kale on it's own?

Hungarian Sausage & Lentil Stoup

CSA Ingredients: Kale, Carrots, Onion, Garlic

It's good. Husband and my SIL go nuts for this stoup.

Cabbage Rolls
CSA Ingredient: Cabbage

I've been eating way more red meat than normal in an effort to get my hemoglobin/iron stores back to normal. Husband, Bella and I all liked these a lot, even if they are a bit heavy for summer. My recipe modifications were to use double the condensed soup because I like things saucy.

Homemade Ranch Dip

CSA Ingredients: Carrots & Cucumber Sticks

I am a big fan of quality ranch dressing like you find at restaurants, but I find any other prepared ranch - like Hidden Valley - to be gross. So I learned to make my own. Put 1/4-1/3 cup mayo in a dish and whisk in enough half-and-half/buttermilk/plain kefir to make it the consistency you desire in a dip or dressing. Then add herbs and spices such as chives, dried parsley, garlic powder, onion powder, salt & pepper. Voila: ranch dressing!

Cucumber Water

CSA Ingredient: Onions (HAHA AM SO FUNNY)

Too many cucumbers! So some water it was.

Anyone have ideas for kale, cucumbers, zucchini or squash they are dying to share with me? My plans for next week include cucumber soup and raita to use up the cucumbers. I'll probably do more breads with the squash & zucchini and try to somehow fit that in my freezer. But beyond that...HALP!

What I Did Yesterday

This one goes out to all those pregnant people expecting their second child who I have completely freaked out in recent weeks.

Yesterday I...

• Emptied the dishwasher...twice.
• Loaded the dishwasher...twice.
• Hand washed all the plastics & cooking dishes...twice. Bella loves helping to rinse the dishes, so it is a fabulous way to entertain her while getting actual chores done.
• Took both kids on an errand that required a 30-minute drive each way.
• Organized Bella's disaster of a room.
• Made Hungarian Stoup for dinner, using up several CSA veggies for the win.

• Completed a book review for BlogHer.
• Took a nap with my chubby, squishy boy.
• Made squash bread with blueberries with Bella, using up more of the endless CSA veggies.

• Did arts & crafts stuff with Bella.
• Only relied on Caillou & Barney for 45 minutes total during the day.
• Remained unfazed when both kids were crying at the same time...twice.
• Had a living room dance party.
• Showed Bella the delights of standing outside during a summer rain.
• Spent time with my SIL and Husband after Bella went to bed.

I should probably also mention that I did not...

• Bathe anyone, including myself.
• Exercise (although the threatening skies in the afternoon was partly to blame for that)
• Do any other cleaning
• Find time to write this blog post

I'm figuring it out and life is approximately 1000 times easier this week than it was just two weeks ago. THANK YOU to having adequate red blood cells and no more anemia issues. I had forgotten what my normal felt like and now that I'm here it ends up feeling like tons of energy. The fact that the thrush seems pretty much gone (not quite ready to proclaim full freedom from thrush, but close I think?) also gives me back quite a bit of time and mental happiness.

So for any mamas-of-two-to-be - IT'S NOT THAT BAD. Really. Yes, tiring. Yes, frustrating on (lots of) occasion(s). Yes, I just wanted to drink that cup of coffee on my own for two seconds FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! But not that bad. So, you can do it! RAH RAH RAH!

And so can I.

Real Life Begins

After six weeks of family visiting in various combinations, we are now back to our usual lives with most of our family spread out far away in Florida, Montana, and Connecticut. I was really grateful to have so much help this summer when I needed it the most. I feel like my relationships with family deepened, especially with my mother-in-law, as I was forced to relinquish my control on things and be dependent for a bit. (Also? My MIL saw way more of my nipples than she probably ever bargained on.) That kind of vulnerability does bring a positive opportunity for relationship growth, even if it pushes me waaaaaay out of my comfort zone. (Um...what's up with my psycho-babble in the first half of that last sentence. Am apparently feeling fancy like that today.)

There is a part of me that is glad to have our house and "regular" lives back. No more kitchen sponge being used on the dining room table (an inexplicable "no-no" in my book, yet a practice both our mothers use), but on the flip side - there is no one wiping the table for me anymore.

Actually that's not true. We have hired a part-time babysitter to help ease the transition to real life. So maybe I should have titled this post "Real Live Begins-ish"? The one downside to Husband's new job is that it includes more travel - including a week long trip to Paris in a few weeks. And while I am doing better, I am in no way ready for a week of solo parenting right now. (Military moms with more than one and husbands who are deployed- HOW DO YOU DO IT? Hats off to you.) We found a baby sitter who will watch Bella a few mornings a week through the month and then we will hopefully continue that a couple times a week after that. We are really fortunate to be able to swing this and I know it will really help me adjust to this new and hectic life. I do feel weird about being a stay-at-home mom who also has additional baby-sitting help, but sanity for the mama is sort of important so I will roll with it.

Family leaving is a bittersweet transition for me. I wish everyone was closer, but I am thankful that we had this time together.

My mom & fresh-from-the-oven Oliver.

Husband's father with Bella.

Husband's mother & 2-week-old Oliver.

My dad with 5-week-old Oliver.

My parents watching an outdoor performance with B.

Isn't my sister's baby (just about 7 months now) the cutest ever? She has this awesome hairdo going on and the prettiest eyelashes.

Baby Vivian

We piled up the grandkids, which made for some hilarious pictures.

I believe that children are our future.

Now off to feed spawn #2 for the bazillionth time in our weirdly quiet house since Bella is at the park with her new favorite person, Sarah the babysitter. I have to confess that there is a  little part of me that fears the babysitter will run off with my most precious girl. Rational? Uh, no. But are we really ever 100% rational when it comes to our kids? Survey says no.

Runner's High

I finally got around to that run today after being unable to for the past two days due to extra feedings (hello 6-week growth spurt!) and family visiting. But I dare say it was worth the wait. To run after being unable to for several months was FREAKING AWESOME. Having a full lung capacity was practically orgasmic. I ventured to the other side of the river, which I literally have not been able to do on foot for weeks and months. I felt great and it seems like getting back in shape will not be too difficult.

Oh, people. I feel like I'm back. It's such a good feeling.

Here's my exercise plan for the week. I'm putting it in the sidebar for extra incentive, although I feel pretty motivated to squeeze in exercise. It's not only scheduled "me" time, but it's pretty much crucial for my mental health. Plus I think it takes the edge off the sleep deprivation.

Sunday - Walk/Zumba DVD
Monday - Couch25K Week 1 #2
Tuesday - Walk/Zumba
Wednesday - Couch25K Week 1 #3
Thursday - Walk/Zumba
Friday - Couch 25K Week 2 #1
Saturday - 30 Day Shred Level 1

Now some help from the blogosphere. Does anyone own Jillian Michael's Yoga Meltdown? Yay or Nay? Also - I need to fill up my iPhone with more running music. My tastes tend towards the pop variety but I'm open to anything that motivates, which ranges from a peppy country song to electronic music. Right now I have the following on there:

Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5
Blow by Ke$ha
Knee Deep by Zac Brown Band
Firework by Katy Perry
I Wanna Go by Britney Spears

What are you all listening to these days?

Hello Friends

So it looks like I up and took a blog-cation on you. I didn't mean to, but I kept waiting to write an exciting "the thrush is gone!" post. Then when I noticed Oliver's tongue had a white coating on it on Monday morning, that plan went out the window.  My blogging mojo disappeared because I am just so bored and frustrated by all the ongoing minor medical issues and yet they take up a lot of my day and mental space, so...

How bout some bullet points to get me back in the blogging mood?

• Oliver's white tongue may or may not be a return of thrush. I brought him to the pediatrician on Monday (the last time we went they recommended bringing him back in if he showed more signs of thrush) and the guy - not our normal one - was kind of horrible to me. The first thing he said was, "You know, thrush really isn't a problem. It's just a nuisance. People make too big of a deal of it." And ergo, tears began to stream down my face, because just a nuisance? That horrible breast pain is only equal to a mere nuisance? All the treatment steps are nothing to get stressed about? I get what he was saying - thrush is not making Oliver sick and he continues to grow well in spite of it (13 lbs now!), but the pediatrician's delivery was piss poor in light of my situation and the fact that I was crying. Anyway, his stance was to wait and see what happens and he does not feel Oliver has thrush. At this point I am fine with waiting as I'm just so freaking over all of it and the thought of a break in treatment stuff seems like a good idea for me mentally. 

• Later on Monday I saw the midwife for some issues of my own and they did the 6-week check up at the same time. The midwife was reviewing the birth and what had been going on since then and was like, "Wow! You've been through the ringer!" When she found out about the suck-ass pediatrician visit and that it was my birthday that day (yeah, Monday was my birthday), she secretly sent the nurse to buy a bouquet of flowers for me from the hospital gift shop. I totally cried again, but this time it was much more of the happy variety. I felt so validated at that appointment, like it was reasonable to feel overwhelmed and swamped by dealing with all these things since Oliver's birth. None of them are that bad on their own, but add them up and it is challenging. Anyway, it felt really good to get some solid support and a random act of kindness.

• As far as my boobicles go, we are also "waiting and seeing" to figure out their issues. The deep cracks I got when the thrush was really bad 3-4 weeks ago are nearly healed, but I still have a little pain and irritation. I saw a lactation consultant last Friday and she said I have nipple blanching and nipple neuritis, both a result of the thrush. I laughed at the "nipple neuritis." It's like I got neurotic nipples, which seems about right. In spite of these boob probs, nursing is pretty much smooth sailing right now.

• I think I'm going to start the first day in the couch-to-5K program today since the weather is so fabulous and I'm feeling pretty much back to normal as far as strength goes. I'm so excited I could pee my pants. In fact, I probably will pee my pants when I run. But we'll pretend it's from excitement and thus it will be acceptable.  It's hard to believe I could barely walk 25 steps a few weeks ago. Huzzah for adequate red blood cells!

• Bella continues to be a great big sister. Her only jealous moment occurs when we take out the double stroller and she can no longer sit in the front seat. She's also been a fabulous sleeper through it all - pregnancy and bringing Oliver home. And she doesn't mind when I have to do bedtime or naptime routines with Oliver in my arms. Speaking of that - any good assvice on putting a toddler to bed when your baby needs attention too? I'm still trying to work things like that out...

• Overall I am feeling pretty good these days. I continue to reclaim old activities - like going on walks in the morning - in spite of the trickiness of doing with with two kids. I've also gone out to eat, visited family, and gone to the grocery store for a few things with both kids on my own. None of these are a big deal, and yet, they are when you are doing them for the "first" time. My confidence is growing and I am less stressed by both of them crying and needing me at once. Slowly, but surely, I'm figuring it out.

Promise more interesting posts and resumed regular blogging starting now.

XOXO my kittens,
Your Big-Boobed Buddy

Purple People Eater

For the record, I've been feeling much more even keel for the past few days. Even in the midst of chaos, I've felt much more in control and calm. So I'm very, very hopeful that the last couple weeks were just those pregnancy hormones leaving the premises. Peace out, you wacky hormones. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

In other news, we are on Day 13 of DIE THRUSH DIE. Thrush not yet dead. [Insert huge, heaving sigh here.]


Since one of my greatest and worst attributes is tenaciousness in the face of an fact-needing situation [read: I'm obsessive in an annoying way sometimes], I am now something of an expert in thrush. I had plenty of middle-of-the-night feedings to research it, anyway.

This latest and greatest treatment is called Gentian Violet, which a few of you recommended. What you do is paint this weird purple dye on your nipples and then feed the baby. Makes total sense, right?

Immediately after a feeding:

 It's OK to laugh at my baby. We do. After the feeding it fades to a sort of 5-o'clock shadow look.

 5-o'clock shadow with accompanying purple lipstick, that is.

As for me, I feel very, very fancy having bright purple nipples. And I can only imagine that Oliver feels very, very fancy himself. It's so rock and roll.

It should be noted that I feel less fancy and more completely awk to go out in public with a purple baby.

This is going to sound weird, but I think the thrush issue triggered my PTSD from when we dealt with bedbugs five years ago. They are similar hard-to-cure and super labor-intensive problems and all that old bedbug stress came back when I learned about the thrush treatment protocol. The bedbug thing made me so crazy, because it's incredibly time-consuming and can be expensive and at the end of the day all your efforts might not be enough. And a lot of the exterminators, who should be the experts, didn't have a clue how to effectively kill them. Bed bugs are one of the most persistent little f-ers out there. They can live WITHOUT FOOD for a year or longer. A YEAR. In the midst of bedbug-ageddon '06 I may have sought out the help of one of our nation's leading bed bug experts, especially since he lives right here in Minneapolis. I mean, really now. I did that. And he was awesome and I will love him forever and he was all, "Go have a glass of wine! You'll be fine". He was bed bug expert with a side of counselor, clearly.

Anyway, all this is to say that in my head, thrush is equal to the bed bug stuff. The people who should know what to do - pediatricians, midwives - seem confused and give treatment advice that is just plain wrong (i.e. put the nystatin suspension that contains SUGAR on your nipples to treat them, too...sugar is what yeast feeds on). As a dietitian I totally get not being able to know everything all the time. I remember a client came in and was like "I have Addison's disease, now what do I eat?" and I was all, "Uh...gonna have to get back to you on that one after a little research." You can't possibly know it all. And so I don't blame those medical professionals, but it's frustrating. But in the end they all seemed to believe that I knew my shit and were willing to write me prescriptions for gentian violet (which is technically over the counter, but proved very difficult to track down) and All Purpose Nipple Ointment. But I so had to go out of my comfort zone to insist that we step up the treatment.

Finally, for those who get their kicks out of knowing another's thrush protocol (all 2 of you), here is a summary of what we have been up to. Now I'm fighting this pretty aggressively, because I just want it gone and I'm aware of how persistent it can be. Info mostly gleaned from the thrush resources on KellyMom that I've been obsessively reading in the middle of the night during feedings. And if you too, ever find yourself in the throes of thrushville, by all means EMAIL ME. I will commiserate beautifully. Same goes for bed bugs.

• Started with Nystatin Suspension for Oliver. Gave 50 ml by painting his mouth with a Q-tip following each feeding (8 times/day)
• I am taking a diflucan pill for two weeks (maybe more?) to kill the boob yeast.
• Wipe nipples with vinegar solution after each feeding (1 cup water with 1 Tbsp distilled white vinegar)
• Put ointment on nipples and let them hang free to the wind as much as possible (started with plain lotramin, moved to homemade all-purpose-nipple-ointment, now doing real APNO)
• Switched to the Gentian Violet for a few days in place of the Nystatin
• Eat a low sugar/low dairy diet. (They recommend a much more strict diet, but...no. Maybe it it becomes a recurring issue. And I've maybe had dessert the last couple days because I'm bad ass.)
• I attempted to take a lactobacillis supplement, but my stomach wanted no part of it as I'm already taking supplements for my anemia in addition to my normal pre-natal/vitamin D/omega-3s and my placenta pills.
• Wash hands obsessively - before and after feedings, before and after diaper changes, before and after giving Oliver's medication, before and after nipple treatment, and before and after me using the bathroom. Plus, you know regular hand washing. This is possibly the suckiest step as you will have to put that baby down a zillion times during the feeding/changing cycle.
• No diaper wipes so we wet baby washcloths at each changing.
• Sticking with disposable diapers as cloth can harbor yeast (sorry, Earth). Also, try to air out diaper area (um...impossible-like and messy) and use an anti-fungal ointment a few times a day.
• Use only paper towels rather than hand towels as yeast will live in towels (sorry again, Earth)
• Use disposable breast pads and change after every feeding (don't hate me, Earth!)
• Each burp cloth, towel, receiving blanket (or anything that gets milk on it) should be used only once. Insane amounts of laundry.
• Speaking of laundry - everything on a hot wash and then add a cup of vinegar to the rinse cycle. Dry on high heat or dry in the sun if possible.
• All pacifiers and pump parts need to be boiled and/or sterilized after each use
• Breastmilk cannot be stored or frozen. So I haven't bothered pumping yet. Very thankful I'm not in the position of needing to build up a supply.

Oh, and finally - you have to keep all this up for a week or two AFTER the symptoms are all gone. Should things continue to linger I will look into the grapefruit seed extract and possibly diflucan for Oliver. Also? My head would likely explode if the thrush continues to linger.

Yeah, thrush sucks the big one. DIE THRUSH, DIE!