Second Date: Too Soon to Go All the Way?

You're supposed to wait until the third date, right? Or is it the fifth? How many times are you supposed to see someone, spend time with them in person, before going all the way?

Two is too soon, probably. It wouldn't work out. Cow, milk, free, all that.

Except...what if you let date two be THE BIG DATE and then it ends up working out just smashingly? Like love, marriage, two kids in a baby carriage smashingly?

(Hypothetical. Cough.)

So. There's a house. We think it's THE house. We have only seen it in person once, though there has been time stalking it's Facebook profile, a.k.a. it's MLS listing, before that first date and after. When I looked at it online, it seemed okay, maybe better than okay, a possibility, anyway.

We saw one house on Monday this week in the morning. It was one that Husband has had his eye on. I never really cared for it and seeing it in person only intensified that feeling. Not for us. On the drive out to see two more houses that afternoon, I was in a funky mood. I had a headache and was tired after the hectic birthday weekend. As we got closer to the house and I saw the neighborhood, I was turned off. Didn't seem like a good fit at all.

But then we got a few blocks closer and pulled into the driveway.

The way I felt the moment I opened the car door was surprising and unexpected. Like my senses turned sharper and all I could hear were birds chirping and the wind rustling gently through the trees. It felt right. I was in a crappy mood and yet this place felt right. And then we went inside and it just got better (the entry! the kitchen!). And better (the mudroom! the great room!) and better (the walkout lower level!) and better (the bedrooms! the laundry room! the master bath!) And then we checked out the backyard and WHOA. Tingles.

Tomorrow we will see it again. And if we are still feeling that this is it feeling, we will go all the way. Make the offer. SCARY. But freaking exciting.

And yet, isn't it too soon to fall in love? Shouldn't we play the field? See a bunch more people houses before settling down?

Except...I think this is it. I think I just know. We just know. It's a gut feeling right? The kind of gut feeling that has you throwing caution to the wind and just doing it, second date or not.

Since we have been itching to move for a looooong time now and have looked at hundreds of houses online, we have a very clear idea in our minds about what it is that we want. We have spent many an evening talking about it over the past few years and also thinking about what it is that doesn't or won't work for us, usually in relation to this current place. After that exceptional first date with this potential new house, we officially made a list of what we want and/or "need" in our future home.

The need list:

• A feeling of privacy from neighbors. Husband talks about walking out back in his robe. This seems suspect because I haven't seen him WEAR a robe in years, but I get what he's saying. He wants to feel like he could do that. And I feel the same way. I grew up in the country. Closing blinds before changing clothes is still not second nature to me, much to Husband's dismay. I want a place where I can feel comfortable and not like our family is on display.
• Nice sized yard for the kids to play in. I'm talking sprinkler running, swing set playing, ball throwing kind of space.
• Able to walk or run or bike from the home for some distance. This was very important to me with moving to the suburbs. I do not want to feel entirely car dependent to the point of not being able to exercise outside without it.
• A functional space for storage and organization. YES, PLEASE.
• Big playroom, ideally one with windows
• Bedrooms on the same level
• Private master bathroom
• Great room feel/flow; the ability to be in the kitchen and still be able to see the kids.
• Reasonable commute - the shorter the better
• Space for cats. We want the litter boxes far, far away from main living space.
• A functional entryway with space to put things away
• Quiet street
• Extra room(s) for offices and/or a guestroom
• Garage with space for both cars plus a little more storage

The want list:

• Water feature like a lake or river or creek
• Husband speaks often of having "land"
• The ability to explore nature - like being next to a park, forest, etc.
• Fabulous mudroom
• Ability to clean to sparkly level (which probably means a newer home)
• Fancy master bathroom with a jacuzzi tub, double sink, etc.
• Area for husband's tools & home repair stuff
• Craft/art area

Such a tall order. Especially trying to bring together the opposites of wanting a big, private yard and also sidewalks/walkable streets. Does such a house exist that isn't hundreds of thousands of dollars out of our price range?

As it turns out, yes. THE house has all that. As we walked through and it offered feature after feature of what we were looking for, it began to seem crazy. Or maybe we were being crazy? Just so desperate to move that we are falling for one of the first houses we see?

But it really doesn't feel like craziness. It feels right. It feels like a house that could be home.

So. Second date tomorrow. Since the first date on Monday I have spent much of my time dreaming about that place. What it would be like to live there. How all our routines would fit into that space. What it would be like at the holidays with family visiting or if we had friends over. What it will be like in 5, 10, 15 years. I have been looking at it on Google maps, figuring out the neighborhoods and what is close by and I'm pretty happy with what I'm seeing.

Now, it's not perfect. It's flawed just enough in ways that we don't really care about that it makes it seem real and possible.We have already gotten the loan stuff in order and all our ducks in a row (i.e. shaved our legs and whatnot) so that we can be ready to make the decision if it feels right.  We might be going all the way tomorrow.

Bow chicka bow wow.

Keep you posted...