Not too long after I wrote this post, in which I talked about being 99% okay with having only two children, I had a weird moment. It was 9 or 10 o'clock at night and I'd had some wine and was juuuuust about to start my period. So, perhaps a wee bit emotionally incontinent, you know? I was working on Oliver's one year video and I shared what I had so far with Husband. There was something about the dreamy way that video filtered out the bad and showcased the good that got to him. He turned to me and said in such an earnest voice, "Do you ever think about having another? Sometimes I think I want another baby."
And I started crying.
Husband looked at me with a look of surprise and pretty much burst out laughing. I half laughed, too, and explained that I just felt so bad that I couldn't jump on board with that if that was what he wanted. Pregnancy is too hard on me, my body is so prone to hemorrhaging at birth, plus there was the risk factor with my blood type not being compatible with the kid's blood types, which means future babies are at risk for anything from jaundice and anemia to needing multiple transfusions.
Now. Yes, it was the wine and the period hormones and general elevated life stress (house hunting, Husband going through a rigorous interview process for a promotion - which he got!) that made me more prone to reacting strongly. But the fact that there was a reaction? Well, it told me that maybe I'm not so Two and Through. That maybe that other post had a bit of "the lady doth protest too much" to it. That I haven't quite convinced my inner self that I don't want any more kids. It was easier to feel that two was our limit, or push myself to feel that way, when Husband was very insistent that any more children would be too many for him. But when he wavered, I suddenly felt something shift.
The door that I had thought was shut very tightly against the possibility of another child, of being a family of five instead of a family of four, had popped back open. I could see some light peeking through the crack.
Preparing to get my IUD pushed the "Maybe Baby?" question even further to the front of my mind. I went back to the midwife for the consult and some pregnancy amnesia took hold as I fondly remembered all those prenatal visits and the excitement surrounding a new life growing in me.
I could get a whole foot in that open door. Maybe...?
I asked to get tested to get some more information around my blood incompatibility. How dangerous and high-risk would a pregnancy be? Should we be using two different kinds of birth control?
The test came back negative to being Rh sensitized. I am likely in the less serious category of having an ABO sensitization. I have many other questions about this - it's such a complex thing - but it does seem that future babies are not at great risk for needing transfusions, although the possibility for anemia and jaundice remains.
And then we bought the new house. There was so much happiness and light and excitement and extra space and after doing the final inspection, Husband and I took a little walk in our new neighborhood. I turned to Husband and said, "I feel like I want another baby."
Husband had been thinking the same thing.
The door blew wide open for a minute there.
Then we returned home to the actual presence of our lovable but oh so demanding kids. Baby #3 seemed less desirable.
But I couldn't quite stop thinking about it, even bringing it up in therapy. Maybe I was experiencing some weird biological drive that I needed to override? Cave bigger! Need more babies!
The door was mostly closed. But it was blowing gently in the wind.
Open...
I know exactly when I ovulate each month, to the point where I can narrow it down to a few hours. That feels like information that should be used for something, you know?
Closed...
OMG two kids. So freaking exhausting. And three? HELL to the no.
Open...
But going from two to three will be easier for me than the transition from one to two was. I know this in my heart. I accurately predicted that zero-to-one kids would be reasonably easy (since it was a positive career change for me) and one-to-two kids would be very hard. Life is already crazy around the clock so it wouldn't totally rock my world.
Closed...
Oliver has been letting me re-live the newborn days with all the teething drama, except he is now a 26 pound newborn and carrying him around all day has my biceps looking very impressive. But the multiple night wake-ups and early mornings are killing me. Wow - I am done, done, done with that. Sleep deprivation does not become me. Two is my mental and physical limit.
Open...
Goddamn my kids are awesome. What would a third be like? Would it be a girl or a boy? It would just be another 1.5 years of really hard times and then a lifetime of joy...
Closed...
I like that I am reclaiming my life and time and body. I have been nursing or pregnant since August 2008 and that means this has been going on for FOUR years. That's enough.
Open...
If I were to get pregnant, my parents are moving here soon and my mom could help during the roughest times. I could take meds for the nausea. I could tell them to shoot me up with pitocin the second I deliver to slow the bleeding. I could...
Closed...
Going through another childbirth experience? Oh, and the puking, the puking, the puking of pregnancy. I can't. Thrush! How could I forget about Battle Thrushtastica 2011 & 2012? And what about the risk of another round of postpartum depression? Another baby is a terrible idea. Terrible.
Open...
When Placenta Lady Kelly delivered my placenta pills, she was so sure there would be a third baby. Is Placenta Lady Kelly a soothsayer? Is a third baby in the cards? I did always imagine three.
Closed...
I would probably break my vagina and bladder if I had another baby. I like my vagina and bladder in their current state. No more babies.
Open...
I sit flipping through an US Weekly. Look! Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck have a new baby! Three kids for them! And that means...absolutely nothing. But three kids. It keeps grabbing my attention. Along with all those pregnant ladies that keep crossing my path. Instead of looking at them through the clouded vision of my own less-than-joyous memories of being pregnant, I'm doing that semi-creepy gentle smile thing at them. Aw...pregnancy! Babies! Fun!
Closed...
It seems like three kids is really hard on parents and marriages, at least if I'm to go by the blogosphere. Do I want to do that to myself? I think I will lose some of my parenting ability if I brought a third into the mix. I couldn't parent as well, at least not for a couple years while I'm so tired and overwhelmed. And I don't want to put that stress on my marriage, especially as we are just getting really and truly back to normal with life.
Open, closed, open, closed.
Right now the door is closed. I keep pushing it closed. But I never hear a click when I shut it.
I love this post. And I would like to point to my own existence as an argument for closing the door, but perhaps not locking it: I am the youngest of three kids. My brother and sister are 2 years apart, and then I came along almost 5 years later.
ReplyDeleteMy mother told me once that she was holding me as a small baby, newly home from the hospital, and she turned to my dad and said, "oh, I really like her."
Neither choice is bad... which is why it's such a tough choice, right?
Hahahaaa you are SO good at putting into words the crazy thought process and things we can take as signs. (US Weekly = pro 3rd child.... hilarious!!)
ReplyDeleteWhy not close the door for like, a year, and then see how you feel?
Btw awesome that your mom is moving here =)
To echo one of your own thoughts, my good friend just had her third baby. Her first two girls were close together in age and they waited for a few years debating about the third. Now she feels like the transition to three was much easier than going from 1-2 and wishes they hadn't waited so long! Every family is so different though right? I guess there is no right or wrong answer : )
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh, I totally understand your feelings, in fact last night I said "my depo shot is up, I don't want to get another one, you NEED to schedule a vasectomy appointment". And Mike was like, "eh let's just wing it!" and I was like "no, because winging it will end up in me pregnant and I dont think my vagina could handle that" LOL
ReplyDeleteI love having three, I actually think that my marriage has been better and stronger than ever since Scarlett was born...but that has to do with other things as well (making dates a priority, not taking on so many other things like a renovation, bonding over the insanity of three children --hehe).
It can definitely be done and it's not as hard as you envision. :)
This is totally me too. Arianna just turned 3 and Brady is about to turn one. I think about it every day. In my case, it's hubby that isn't quite on board. He wants to wait a few more years. I think at this point, when he thinks about baby number 3, all he imagines is more money and less sleep, haha. I truly think about it every single day. Good luck with your decision, I say go for it!
ReplyDeleteI always am amazed at other people who can call it quits and really mean it. I don't know how they do that. I myself might have one more and then be done, just because I have to imagine logistically, it gets crazy after 4.
ReplyDeleteI am jealous that you know when you ovulate. I am trying to use NFP and as far as I know I haven't yet. I'm waiting on my fertility to sneak up and bite me in the butt.
You don't have to make up your mind yet. Why don't you wait and see another year or two? That's what I am trying to do. I love having three, I just want to enjoy it awhile longer.
Oh my word! Sometimes you write exactly what I'm thinking! I want four. Always have. Been I HATE pregnancy and the first 3 or so months with a newborn. It's just hard on me. It's hard on my body. It's hard on my husband.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm hoping my parents will be moving near us. I'm hoping I'd do better with adjusting to three.
Here's what we've decided. It's not a discussion for at least a year. And then we still might wait another year after that. I also have been pregnant or nursing for 4 years. I need a break. And that break is so close I can almost touch it! I'm looking forward to it.
So, a third baby is still a good possibility, but I'm not worrying about it for a year or more. And that is enough for me to just sit and enjoy our times now.
I think this is a struggle many women go through. I have a feeling these will be my exact thoughts after baby #3. I've always wanted 4 children but physically I don't think I'm willing to go through 2 more pregnancies. It will be hard to shut that door forever. But I wouldn't recommend doing anything permanent until you absolutely KNOW for sure! As some of the other commenters mentioned, maybe wait a couple of years. Once they are school aged, even just in preschool, you will have more time to focus on another child. In the mean time, enjoy how great life is for you right now! Sounds like you have a lot to celebrate!
ReplyDeleteI think the idea of leaving the door cracked and waiting a bit is a good idea. I want to mention the miracle that is B6 and unisom. I had horrible nausea and tried some of the perscriptions and hated them. I am 20 weeks now and can eat because of the B6/unisom.
ReplyDeleteI feel like all of your reasons to open the door are legit, and all the reasons to shut it will pass. I predict another baby. Start prenatals a year early, order up some of that nausea magic drug, google placenta smoothie recipes, and start up the pootsa-pootsa :-)
ReplyDeleteIt seems there are many of us working through the logistics of planning our families, how many kids, and how far to space them. I completely get this post. We have been doing the same back and forth. Three. No four! Now. Not now! Argh. I love having a set in stone plan, but I'm growing to like the "life is good" let's just see how we feel and do what feels right when it feels right approach.
ReplyDeleteI think waiting until you know for sure is good advice, and there are so many variable to weigh it's really a feat of prioritization. In the mix I juggle our ages at conception (and fertility), our ages when the last kid leaves for college, how many years into the future until we are free of the "baby stages" and diapers, etc., body issues, emotional and physical tolls of pregnancy and postpartum, our marriage, our kid's relationships with each other and how spacing might affect them, the quality of my mothering, my daily stress levels, my professional work, and personal aspirations. etc. The list goes on. yes it does!!
I too predict another baby in your future :)
I also have Rh incompatibility issues with pregnancies (little c antibodies due to blood contact during (labor) It's hard to throw that whole issue into the mix when wondering whether to have another child. We've been through one ISO pregnancy already and it turned out great, though the process was difficult, both emotionally and physically after coming off Felicity's stillbirth. I'm still learning more and more about this condition through a group on babycenter.com if you are interested.
ReplyDeleteWhoa! Such response, and on a summer Saturday, too! :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't mention it in the post, but there is some time pressure (although fully self-imposed) because Husband prefers to not be having children in his forties. He will be 39 in November. However, Husband is a YOUNG 38 so I don't know how much that applies, you know?
This is giving me so much food for thought about spacing. Perhaps a 3 year gap between the last two kids would make sense? (Door open...)
Care & Rachael - You guys are both blogging parents-of-three that makes me think I could so do it.
Jacqueline - I have your recent post "saved" in my Google Reader because I need to comment on it. But here is a pre-comment: YES! I/we have the same feelings!
Rachel - It's good to hear from others in the same Rh boat. I'm curious about how you found out about the c antibody factor? I've had to really push for testing & be the one to instigate questions, although Oliver was coombs + (which I feel should have triggered the doctors to question things...but maybe that's asking too much?) I do feel a little confused about where to turn for more info and to even figure out what questions to ask. So, yes, I would like to hear more about that babycenter group (although perhaps it's an easy google!) And I also have to say - I clicked over to re-read Felicity's birth story and she really is/was such a beautiful girl. I'll be thinking about her and you tonight.
I'm totally biased and utterly unqualified to give you any advice as I am completely childless, but as a person with two siblings that are all reasonably close in age (there are two years in between each kid) I say go for it. I absolutely adore having two siblings - when you're annoyed with one, you can hang with the other or if you want alone time, you aren't forcing your sibling into alone time as well. Being relatively close in age meant we could relate to each other and support each other through the trials and tribulations of growing up. Also, grouping all three of us together allowed my mother to get her body and personal and professional life back sooner because we were all into school within a rather short period of time.
ReplyDeleteObviously, feel free to laugh and ignore this as the input from a naive childless git, but I love being one of three and wouldn't trade it for the world :-)
I am a complete random who loves your Blog and is a regular reader from England. I would never normally comment but felt I had to on this one because it resonates with me so much. I have one child and have the very same feelings about adding another child to our family as you have written about so well here. It feels very much like a head (which says dont be so bloody stupid) vs a heart decision (which says yes another baby! NOW!).
ReplyDeleteNeither side has won because both sides have complety valid arguments. In the end I have just decided to go with my heart and have come to be at peace with the fact that this is just a very different decision to having a first child.
I suspect that the fact that you are not completly sure will mean a third child for you at some point. Which, I am sure, will bring you joy. You are a good mother and you love you children, everything else will come out in the wash (as we say here).
Anyway, these are clearly pointless ramblings so I will stop now.
Oh, Laura - like so many of the other commenters, I can definitely relate to this - not for the same reasons, but if only we could combine the way my body handles pregnancy and labor, and your house and work status :) Our biggest hangups are daycare costs, and space (car and house) for another so we're tabling the discussion for at least 3 more years and we'll see how we feel. So hard to say with certainty that you're DONE though.
ReplyDeleteWe are in the camp in favor of three for sure and possibly four. I have heard from many people that once I have three, I will "know" if I'm done. I would venture to say that if you're thinking this hard about having three then you are likely not done ;) But, after reading your post, I'm wondering if I truly will know if I'm done after having three - maybe the question will remain for a while if I'm to have four or not... I'm hoping that isn't the case because I was really banking on the fact that I would know for sure when to be done having kids! Good luck with your decision, I will be anxiously awaiting news of any kind ;)
ReplyDeleteOne of life's hard ones! I think, for me, I try and look at other moms who are really similar to my style and ask them how certain numbers/spacing, etc worked out for them. My mom and I, for example, are very similar in these things (how much alone time we need, how pregnancy feels for us, not working, etc) and 2 was the right number for her and I think it'll be for me, too. I've also gotten some very honest/raw answers from close friends w different numbers of kids and I'm taking that into account, too.
ReplyDeleteThere are times, especially at this age, i LOVE 2, when I want to be in it forever and ever. And I can't imagine being done at some point! I totally totally get why people have a million trillion babies. I just think it would wipe me out. :)
I totes recommend a yearish break and re-evaluate then!! <3
Love this post. Adrian is only 4 months old and I'm already wondering if we're done. You've heard about my insane hip/pelvis pain and I really don't know if I can handle not being able to walk or having to use a cane any longer. The sad thing is that it probably won't get better until I'm done breastfeeding! At the same time, 3 sounds about right. Also, I really want another girl. I'd be interested to read more about how and why having 3 kids makes it harder on a marriage and everyone in general. Here is some really weird and depressing advice that my grandma gave me. She said to have at least 3 kids so that if one dies, the other two can lean on each other, as opposed to one having to deal with it alone. I know! It's a super depressing and dooms way of thinking! In no way do I think we should plan our lives based on fear, but I see her point and the advice has stuck with me.
ReplyDeleteThe good thing is that you have amazing kids and you are amazing parents. Another child made by the two of you would only make this world a better place!
I just wanted to say that I totally get why your difficult pregnancy/postpartum experiences are a real factor here, and I think people who haven't had it really truly bad in one or both of those areas can have trouble understanding why one might allow such 'passing' or even 'selfish' concerns to have such weight. I have no idea what you will do or should do, obviously. But it became very clear during my debilitating second pregnancy that there's no way *we're* having another baby, and it has surprised me how dismissive people have been of that (oh, you'll change your mind ...). What's interesting to me is that I know I want another baby; I just don't want that enough to risk putting myself and my existing two babies and partner through nearly a year of hell again. I mean, I want lots of puppies too--they're so cute!--but I know I don't actually want to deal with the house training, their potential conflicts with my older dog and each other, etc., and we certainly can't afford a puppy or another child (or the ones we have ...).
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's not a head vs. heart thing. I don't just have an *intellectual* objection to temporary disability and depression, or to poverty--that's gut-level, too. Of course, my experience is weird because I had that longing/urge for a second baby when Noah was three but knew it was a bad time and too-close spacing for us ... and by the time it was right the urge was gone ... so we made the decision to have Simon without that, and it hasn't felt any different from the more longing-driven experience with Noah 6+ years ago. As it turns out, I really like knowing the shape of my family is all set (we can think about moving to a more permanent home with the right space, the future is a little less foggy, I have all of 'my people,' etc.). I feel a little sad knowing this is my last little one, especially because I'm one of those people who loves breastfeeding as much as anything else, and I'm sure I'll have some waves of sadness upon weaning and at various other points. But then, there would be crappy things either way, and great things either way.
Anyway, I'm rambling! Loved this post. You'll figure it out great.
Hi Laura! We are trying to decide if we should stop at 5 or go to 6. Here is what I always remember...talk to all women you want- no one ever wishes they had less children, but oh how often I run into women that wish they had at least one more...
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this, Laura! I thought I was the only open/closed nut on the block!!! ;) We shall she what the next 5 years hold for all of us!
ReplyDeleteGREAT post. I'm not there 'yet' but I know this will be me in a few more months. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this, I can relate! I alwys said at least 2 kids, now I have 1 and say probably that's all. But as I get further from being pregnant and closer to never again land I keep thinking more and more about another baby. Who knows what the ultimate decision will be or if it will be made for me (after fertility issues with my first who knows).
ReplyDeleteI have three kids already, and my baby is 5. My baby door "closed" when the youngest got out of diapers. My husband however really wants another baby. He's one of those guys who loves having a newborn in the house.
ReplyDeleteI went to a tarot card reader when I was newly pregnant with my 3rd. She took one look at me and said "oh honey, this baby is a girl, but don't worry, you'll have two more kids and your last will finally be your boy"- but no, that's not happening. There will be no more babies for me.
Oh, Laura, you captured the whole perfect family size decision so perfectly that you may have opened my SHUT/LOCKED/KEY THROWN AWAY door a touch. STOP THAT!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think this is life's biggest question ... it's hard to turn away from all the wonderful feelings kids bring, and it's so easy to forget all the sleepless nights and physical demands of pregnancy and the early months of baby. You'll know what's right for your family!
ReplyDeleteps.. I totally thought you were going to announce a pregnancy at the end of this post!
Just had my third daughter last August, and am rounding the corner on the first year as a mom of three small children. Not gonna lie-- she was a surprise, and this year was tough. However, the universe somehow compensates for this by making the third baby an angel. I've seen it too many times to not believe it. Also, I really think that if you're both considering it this much, it's probably the right thing to do. You know in your heart when you're truly done, and I'm done. Something tells me you're not.
ReplyDeleteThis is my situation too. It was so easy after my second was born and my husband said NO to more kids. So I went along with that, because I can't make him!?!? And I was happy with two. But now, a year later, past the haze, and he's starting to want another one. So that makes me REALLY want another one. So I'm thinking yes hopefully, if the hubs doesn't take it back. :) Good luck! Such a hard decision! I actually felt a little jealous when you posted the two and through post, like how is this so easy for some people! Especially those who always pictured themselves with more. Glad to hear I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this post Laura. I think you capture what so so many people go through. Our situation has another layer...do we adopt to make us a family of 5? For some reason, I've thought about it since I was young, maybe because I have so many relatives and friends who are adopted. "husband" would need some convincing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post, Laura. I really appreciate that while we have such different lives, there are so many times when I read what you write and feel comforted to know that I am not alone in these quite existential questions. And it makes me miss you desperately :)
ReplyDeleteAs mom to a two year old son and a nine month old son, I already start to feel myself missing the new baby stage (I obsessively loved my too-short three months off with each newborn baby, even more the second time, when I realized how difficult juggling a competitive/demanding job and mommy duties would truly be). For me, the issue is not only one of personal balance and health, but also one with career implications. As diplomats, our family moves every 2-3 years. On one hand, we are departing Beijing with a certain professional velocity and I want to harness that into an even better follow-on assignment (and fascinating work leads to more and better work after that). I find my work very integral to my image of self and intellectual satisfaction. But I know that the career doesn't love me back.
I also feel that if we decide to have another baby, I want to take real time off to care for the growing little team. My husband is amazingly supportive - he loves kids, would love me to take time off for a third if it is what I want, but he could be happy with two. Starting a new job, in a new city, in a new language, with no family near, and having a new baby all within a couple of years seems overwhelming and exhausting. The other reality is that I am 32, so there is just a two or three year window before I face 'advanced maternal age' and all the stresses that having a baby a bit later brings to your body and self.
I predict a third small one in that big house in the 'burbs, and probably a third little travel companion on our world journeys. Oh man, we will be tired.
I'm in the swinging door right now too. I'm a 'maybe baby' for #3 in the future. For us, going from 0-1 was really shocking and hard but he was a really fussy infant all through the first year. Going from 1-2 was easy peasy but our baby was a text book baby....and because she is SO LOVELY I am actually thinking about the possibility of having that third baby.
ReplyDeleteI'm not really decided either. However, I've heard that a lot of the times #3 baby is also 'the surprise baby'. We shall see ;)
This post has been on my mind a lot! We're pretty sure we only want the one baby, and I want to wait a few years at least before having another! I woke up last night in the middle of the night because I was terrified I was pregnant! :) It is a tough decision
ReplyDeleteThank you for all your feedback/thoughts! It's so fun to read them.
ReplyDeleteNow this topic is on my mind even more, especially with all these comments giving me more to think about. Those thoughts...
- I liked having 2 siblings/being from a family of 3 kids. Husband always wanted two or four, he worries about ganging up.
-What if we go for one more and it's twins?
-I gave away all the baby stuff. DOH.
-Garage sales with baby stuff aplenty around here...
-Two doesn't contribute to overpopulation & is obviously cheaper.
Right now Husband is feeling very NO NO NO more. But I also know that once Oliver calms back down when his teeth poke through his gums, he will get more wishy washy.
Things that make you go hmmm...
Having a third baby was by FAR the hardest decision of my life!
ReplyDeleteI blogged about it: http://scrumpybumpy.blogspot.com/2011/05/on-having-three.html
This is just beautiful. I love how you captured the push/pull of the baby urge. I don't know how old you are, but I'm a 41-year-old mother of one who is trying but not certain she will be able to have a second, so the freedom to choose sounds pretty awesome to me.
ReplyDeleteI love your post Laura. I have two girls under two. My eldest is 21 months and my baby is 7 months. With my 1st baby, I wanted another baby again asap. With my second, i came home from the hospital saying the same thing. I just don't have that 'done' feeling. But then reality kicks in and makes you think twice....the sleep deprivation, the insanity of 2 under 2, the lack of family support (no family live near us), finances - how in the world do we pay for 3? The cost of childcare is ridiculous and 3 would mean that I would have to quit my job and be a SAHM because my wage wouldn't cover childcare....and i am not sure if i am ready to go down that road. My 1st baby is a high needs kid and always has been (needs constant attention, never sleeps, tantrums, into everything, super smart) My 2nd baby is an angel who is so mellow and laid back. Perfect baby. Sometimes i get scared thinking that if i have a 3rd, I'll have another high needs kid and it will tip the scales. We love our children dearly, but the demands of our 1st child have put a strain on our relationship as a couple. We have less time for each other and always feel 'on' because we never get any down time from parenting. But having said that, it is getting easier the older the kids are getting. It is so nice to see the sibs playing together. We have just moved into a larger home with room for a 3rd. We are buying a car that can fit a 3rd child. We have discussed having a 3rd and are open to having another one. So it all seems to point to having another baby. It's just finding the 'right' time. I would like to have all my children before 30, so i only have a short window left to achieve this. Sometimes i wonder if we as women ever get that 'done' feeling or if it will always be there? I also have this mindset that it will be a hard few years getting through the baby and toddler stages ,but then it will get better. I have visions of family dinners with my adult children and their children...and just think, at the end of the day, isn't that what it's all about? Not money, fancy houses, fancy cars etc, but raising a family that loves and cares for each other? And then i have days where i just want 5 mins peace to myself and wonder why i ever had kids to begin with....so yeah, still fence sitting here. Gorgeous newborns vs I put on freaky amounts of pregnancy weight that takes months to lose. Cuddles vs 2hr feeding schedules and constant night wakings. Morning sickness/ tiredness/ emotional ups and downs vs my god children are just so beautiful. See? It's just not a rational decision making thing. I suspect more children are in your future :) Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I know how you feel, and I'm still pregnant with our second! I know, I just KNOW, the pangs for a third will come. I JUST KNOW. But, we decided before we even had one yet, that two would just be our max. Given how we both feel about the state of the world and overpopulation and such, and if we were to have more than 2 it would only be fair to pony up the dough and adopt. But, the other reason is that we live in San Francisco, which is really, really, really, ridiculously expensive to live in. Really. A lot. And two is probably about all we can afford. BUT. Those pangs for a third, I know they loom. We've been talking about long term, maybe permanent, birth control options and we seem to be leaning toward vasectomy. If he gets the guts to do it, well that will just be it and hopefully I can deal with that psychologically. It's hard to know when you're "done" when having a new little one is so fun and exhilarating and life changing. So great.
ReplyDelete