Monday, November 19, 2012

Stepping Back

So yesterday I had a bit of a Jessie Spano moment at Husband over how much we have to get done around the house and in general. I told you all that I have been solo parenting for a couple weeks given Husband's crazy-time at work. Then Saturday was his b-day (happy birthday!) and I wanted him to have a nice day, especially since there have been two absolute failure years recently due to me having the pregnancy pukes. So we had his sister & my nephew over for four hours since it was also my nephew's birthday and I did 90% of the kid-stuff the rest of the day so he could relax and, well, by Sunday I was about as fried as I could be.

Because there is just so much effing shit I need to get done and that Husband needs to get done and no time to tackle it.

The leaves are not bagged, we still don't have blinds (or living room furniture) and live in a fishbowl on display for the neighborhood, my bank account overdrafted because Husband and I didn't communicate on two separate bills, the fire alarms have yet to be switched out to replace the sketchy ones, the furniture isn't attached to the walls which is such a danger to Oliver, my damn cat keeps peeing on the basement carpet despite a vet visit and tests and  meds and ridiculous $35 kitty aromatherapy and expensive pee cleaners and then there is the fact that I switched us to a brand new vet because we moved but then the vet never returned any of my phone calls so I have to switch again and OMG why can't I get a fucking grip?

Everything keeps piling up or getting messed up and I just cannot, cannot, cannot stay on top of it. Seriously. I'm not trying to make Pinterest shit or put festive holiday decorating around the house. I'm just trying to fold a load of laundry or file some papers. On Sunday I tried to question if maybe I've been too much of a lazy slacker, since I do watch a little TV at night and sometimes I take a nap during the day, but uh, no. I'm not slacking. I do more every day than I ever did in my life. I just simply have x amount to give and x+1 amounts of stuff to do.


And I can now officially say that Oliver is getting his 2-year-molars. I don't even understand it, how is he such a special snowflake of the teething variety? He is only 16 months, has 16 teeth completely in and now two more are pushing through on the top. He has really and truly been teething nonstop for months (though I guess I did get a 2 week break in early November) and he is not an easy teether. AT ALL. Then when you pair his current high-needs state with the normal challenges of a 3.5 year old (the very definition of trying, according to many), I'm just worn out and worn down.

So I have to step back.

I'm calling my mom to say I can't prepare Thanksgiving dinner. We will buy something, pizza even, and she and my dad are still welcome to come over with the pie & sweet potatoes they were going to bring, but I can't handle turkey and mashed potatoes and the rest of it. Especially since we are having a separate gathering for various relatives on Friday.

I think I'm done with Project 52. I am 6 weeks behind and now my photos may or may not exist given my broken computer and AHHHHHH. Stress I don't need. I don't have to do that. So...done. [Quieting failure/guilty feelings as I write that, sigh.]

I will continue to exercise daily, probably half-assed-like outside with the kids, but I'm not going to blog every day. Too tricky without my computer. I'll report back to you next Friday or Saturday on what I did. Sorry to let those down who were along on the ride! Would love if you still chime in with what you have been up to.

And a sitter will be hired. Maybe multiple - a neighbor girl for a nighttime dates and some day help on a regular basis. I need at least a few hours each week (if not more) at least for the next year while the kids are young and still so very needy. I feel absolutely dumb when I think that that there are plenty of people out there who can manage beautifully all on their own without hiring help, families with situations one thousand times more challenging than my own, but I have to accept that I am not someone who can do it all with a smile on my face. I need to come to peace with that fact and try to let go of the self-judgment. I also have guilt over how privileged I am to be in the position of hiring help when I already have so many good things in my life, but letting myself go to Crazytown is obviously not reasonable. I have the means so I need to take advantage and again, try to put the guilt/ick feelings aside.

I will continue to look for other areas in my life that I can just set aside or cut out or possibly give up. And I will try to phrase it as simplifying my life, to quell the Debbie Downer rearing up in me.

And now, to publish this mess or not?  Why not? I doubt I'm the only one who feels this way.

But before I put this out into e-land I feel like I need to throw in the message that I'm fine, really, I'm just burnt out. Thanksgiving will provide a break since Husband will have a couple days off plus the weekend. I'm sure I'll look at this post on Friday and think, "Whoa, there, Missy. Best make it a decaf day!"

Okay, the baby is awake and the preschooler is crying because she can't open a water bottle (that is very sad, to be sure) and we have a park to visit because it is magically warm out.

Since I will not talk to you until later this week: Happy Thanksgiving!

32 comments:

  1. So remember that what you see from other people is usually their best side. No one really wants to talk about the struggles or how hard it is at times. And no one has the same two kids or circumstances. Right now I only have 1 kid and my husband is not working crazy long hours and I still feel like I'm at my wits end every single day. And I don't cook or clean or do laundry or organize a darn thing in my house. I'm lucky we are fed and walk out of the house with (mostly) clean clothes on. So don't feel bad about any of this.

    Hopefully the babysitter will help. Maybe make a To-Do list and prioritize it, and use the time that the baby sitter is there to check one thing off each time. And don't give up the naps or time watching TV. It might feel lazy, but it's important to have some down time or you will be even more burnt out.

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    1. So my dear old geriatric laptop computer won't allow me to comment to all. So many quirks with this machine - like the fact that it doesn't even recognize it's battery, it won't let me edit a blog post unless I restart Firefox and it takes approx 2 years to restart. ANYWAY! I'm going to put all my comments in here, under Diana's name, even though I'm replying to all :)

      Diana - Very true about people using presenting their best selves. And no worries about me giving up down time :) I'm too inherently self-serving for that!

      Phoebe - Hi! Thank you for your kind words and I appreciate your comment & encouragement. I'm always on the fence about posting these kinds of "in the heat of the moment" posts, fearful it will be construed wrong, so it's good to hear that my intention is coming across accurately (to most, hopefully!)

      Jo - It comforts me to hear you gave up your photo project. I mean, I'm sad for you, but it somehow takes a little pressure off myself? Where does all this weird self-imposed pressure come from? Left over honors student mentality nonsense or something. And you just reminded me about the crossword puzzle thing I meant to do! I had bookmarked the site on my other computer. I'll do that this weekend for A.

      Lish - You know what I have found semi-convenient about never getting to my to-do lists? Half the stuff becomes obsolete over time so I can just cross those items right off!

      Rachael - We actually hired cleaners once a month a few months ago now and it helps me so much. If it weren't for them, many a bathroom and floor would go unmopped. Not only is that stuff sucky to do, but it's way too complicated with kids underfoot, you know? Yes, I'm sure you know :)

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    2. Cyn - There is a special kind of crazy-making that comes from a kid who doesn't nap well. Bella was that for me. Good luck with your own feline team. I can handle the hairballs and the defiant poo right outside the litter box, but this pee thing. GAAAAAAHHHH! I have been having quite a bit of luck of putting tinfoil where I don't want him to go. Perhaps I should remove that before the guests come over today, hm?

      Schmei - Oh, I want to hug your cousin, too! And in the end my mom took total pity on me and insisted on bringing over a whole thanksgiving meal. It was really kind and helpful and WOW was I glad not to have to do much of anything yesterday!

      zerodoll- Plus I bet your kids behave a little better for their g-ma. Kids like to save their real tantrummy/tough stuff for their own parents :) Hope your t-giving went off without a hitch and didn't leave you exhausted.

      Val (sister) - When you say hearts, you mean Stacy McGill style, yes? And hi-hi from Jamie Thomas.

      Laura - True dat on lowering my own stress is better for all. The kids were acting up even more early this week...I'm sure my own stress was getting them ramped up.

      Molly - thanks for the encouragement :) And I'm with you on 2.5 hours passing by in a blur! Plus there are all the weeks off and days your kid(s) can't go due to illness. I love that time when all the stars align, but it was not the significant chunk of me-time I was originally thinking it would be.

      Erin- Thanks, lady. I do feel like life has gotten so much easier since last year (OMG, that was nutso time), but I think moving/husband's new job has been more challenging to adjust to than I expected. But, DUH self, aren't moving and new jobs like top 5 for stress?

      Amy - We are still so very much on the fence with one more. Yes, no, yes, no, yes no? (You know we are probably both goign to fall into that YES category :)

      Val - Thank you for validating my cat pee stress! It really is like such a THING. Free time should not be spend hunting down cat pee and then cleaning it.

      Ilze - Thank you! And doing some hobby-stuff is just what I need to do.

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    3. mtronc - thank you for coming out to comment. Best of luck with baby #2! Congrats:)

      Jaida - Yes - I've read both of those things! I want to check out the newest book - Happy Home or something. One gripe about that woman is that she has a looooot of help. Like family around the corner and lots of babysitters, etc. I think that gives her more room to quietly muse about life. However, the weirdo type-A approach to some of that stuff was interesting. As I read that book I really went back and forth on whether I liked her or not. And then I thought maybe the parts I wasn't liking were simply reflections of things I don't like about myself. Who knows! And yes - end of teething is so close!

      Type B- Random drop ins? Oh Hay-ell no!

      Becki - Yes, it makes sense for moms to share the load of sitting. AS I meet more people in my neighborhood I'm hoping to get to the point where that is natural/easy.

      Hemborg - Thank yoU! And yes, t-giving can be all sorts of food :)

      Katie & Julia - Thank you for the sitter encouragement :)

      katie - Interesting link. I struggle very much with perspective and keeping a level head/balance. And when I get down in the dumps, it only perpetuates that negative thinking. Ah well, that's why I'm in therapy :)

      ERin - Always good to hear from others who share the same frustration.

      Beijing - So I read this in the middle of the night after Oliver woke me (times 3) and I was already sleeping in the guest bed next to a sprawled bella due to my own snoring husband. Glad you have found some respite with your sitter. It makes sense! Good for you. XOXO

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  2. Hi there! I'm a long time reader, although I'm not sure I've ever commented even though I've wanted to many, many times- so I finally am! I just wanted to say- hang in there mama! You are way more amazing, motivated and awesome than you are giving yourself credit for! I completely agree with everything that Diana said- give yourself a break and don't feel bad about the times you sit down and relax a little (I probably need to take my own advice there... blah). I've also been doing the single parent thing a lot lately while my husband works crazy hours and it's just plain hard! It's hard to feel like you have to everything by yourself- cooking, cleaning, kids- with no break or real back up. Don't beat yourself up over it- you have every right to feel this way. Oh and don't feel bad about hiring some help if you have the means! I would totally be doing the same thing if I could!
    I also want to thank you for being so open and honest on your blog and sharing real stuff- I can't even tell you how many times I've just nodded my head in agreement/sympathy/understanding while reading your posts. It's so refreshing to read that stuff sometimes and to hear that you aren't the only one who wants to rip your hair out over your cute little bundles of joy. Anyways- good luck with everything and I hope you get the much need break that you deserve here soon!

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  3. For all the things I do complete, there are a gazillion of things I am no longer doing (and oddly I still feel so busy). I was also doing a picture project that I had to give up. I miss it, but I have resolved to let it go (at least for now) and not beat myself up over it. I think we put so much pressure on things that may not be that big of a deal. Sure, you and your kids can look back at your Project 52 fondly, but I bet they'd rather mommy kept her sanity. :)

    I agree with Diana... don't give up your naps and TV time. We all need our 'me' time. And pizza for Thanksgiving sounds divine.

    PS. Happy Birthday to the husband.

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  4. I know absolutely no one who is raising toddlers (or kids or who doesn't have kids) who is managing beautifully. But I get that sometimes it totally feels like that. I feel that too or I feel like a failure when I barely make a dent in my to-do list. I have to remind myself I can always just throw the list away. :)

    The sitter thing will be life-changing. Seriously, I think it is so messed up how we lock stay-at-home moms alone in the house with little children for days on end. Your brain needs time during the day when it doesn't have to worry about keeping someone else alive. And good for you for cutting back. Your project 52 will still be an amazing gift to your kids - even if it's not "finished". And you may not get curtains or furniture for another year. In the long run, you won't even remember the fishbowl years. You just moved - that's a really hard transition just by itself - learning your new neighborhood, finding babysitters.... The house can keeping waiting b/c cat pee and molars are more than enough to make you crazy. ;) Oh, and pizza thanksgiving is my dream!

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  5. When I first read your title I selfishly thought, 'Oh, she's stepping back from blogging for awhile. Darn.' I would totally understand, of course, but I'm glad it's not that because I do so enjoy your posts.

    I can relate to the guilt over hiring help. For me it was last year when I decided to hire the house cleaner to come a couple times a month. I still feel a little bit like it's an extravagance, and I still don't even like to mention it to people. (I'm paranoid that they think I don't lift a finger around my house, because I still have to. It's only twice a month, and it's the deep cleaning that I would never get around to on my own.) But then I think, 'Why be ashamed of that? People spend more money in a month eating out, or on babysitters. Or whatever else they want to spend their money on.' The point is, everybody has to budget and spend money on what matters most to them. And your family benefits greatly from you having reinforcements. Hire a babysitter and be grateful you can.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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  6. Sing it sister! I'm happy to read this post...I too am buried under household chores that never end! I've been reading blogs, including yours when I need to vegetate. All I wanted to do this morning was pay bills online...simple right? Oh no, my 6 month old little love only took a 5 min. nap. Hardly enough time for me to choke down a bowl of oatmeal! And exercise, I wish...I get my exercise cleaning up cat puke of the carpet! We have 3 lovely felines, one pukes, one pees everywhere but in the litter box and the other one is slowly shredding our sofa! Thanks for keeping me sane! Cyn

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  7. Two things:

    1) Last week, DH's cousin, who is always looking perfect, owns her own small business, and is mama to a 3.5 year old and a 18-month old (sound familiar?), posted on facebook that she took her two kids to the post office and "it's official. I have no control. My life is a joke." I wanted to drop everything and go find her and hug her.

    2) I took care of my 13-month old and my 12-week-old nephew for five hours yesterday and I nearly died. FIVE HOURS. I suck. (Granted, my brother hasn't babyproofed his death-trap house, but still - lame). I don't know how you do it.

    Get the help. Get some rest. Get the blinds. Pizza for thanksgiving sounds awesome. We're not cooking squat and I'm very excited about that.

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  8. I'm right there with you. I gave up keeping up with Quicken and the bills and just obsessively check online that there is money in the account to cover them. (Mind you, this used to be something I enjoyed doing.) There is just NO TIME to do anything reasonably with two children. I feel so so lame that I will spend a whole day alone with my two kiddos in a few weeks and was kind of freaking out about it and my husband was like, do you want my mom to watch them? How pathetic is that that she can handle them but I can't (for ONE day)? I tell myself she gets real sleep and the baby naps for her, unlike for me, and she's not breastfeeding! And somehow we're the ones hosting Thanksgiving and I'm just kind of giving up on anything being the way I'd like. Like clean floors. So you are not alone! Take whatever breaks you need.

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  9. I'm sorry, sister. Everyone just wants you to be happy, so if that means getting takeout or hiring a housecleaner or getting a babysitter to come in a few times a week, that is A-OK. Hearts.

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  10. A less stressed mom is always better than a more stressed mom, so do what you gotta do! Sometimes letting things go and recognizing your limits really is the hardest part of parenting. I think you are an amazing mom, I really do. Hang in there!!!

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  11. I randomly clicked your blog link from Julia's blog (my life in transition) and I feel like I stumbled upon your blog a long long time ago, laughed hysterically at it (in a good way), but never bookmarked it or started following so I forgot all about it. I'm a follower now - hi! I also live in the twin cities and am a stay at home mom to three boys under 5. I can absolutely relate. When my second baby was born my husband was coaching high school hockey and looking back - I have NO idea how I survived that season of my life. Staying at home is SO hard. The job never freaking ends. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I just keep thinking someday, SOMEDAY my kids will be in school all day. This isn't how it's going to be forever. And a word to the wise, GET that sitter! I got one this summer just for two mornings (3.5-4 hours a day) and it was the best thing we ever did. I was hugely pregnant, could barely walk the kids to the park, my sitter was an angel. She went back to college, but I'm hoping she will come back if her classes allow in the spring. I need help again, even with my oldest in preschool every day. 2 1/2 hours is just not long enough :-) Thanks for the honest post! Quit working out so much, you're making me look bad!

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  12. I honestly do not know how you are even still functioning after the past 1.5 years of your life, truly. Give yourself some credit - you've gone through a lot and you get very little help - yeah, you had a sitter for awhile, but seriously - a few hours here and there doesn't amount to much when you're basically on 24 hours a day. I hope you find a few sitters that you trust soon, and good for you for cutting a few things out that weren't working.

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  13. Thank you for posting this! I'm pregnant with my second, and I'm scared how I'm going to handle everythng, but you put it into perspective: sometimes you just have to give yourself a break and take some of the load off. No guilt. Ps: I'm a long time reader, but not sure if I've ever commented...live your blog. :)

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  14. I've felt the same way so many times! I hear ya! I so want more kids but then I freak out because I can barely handle two. What would I do with another one?
    This is a hard time in life. Do what you need to do. I'm not making crafts. I'm not making great dinners. My house tends to be messy. But I'm trying to keep the kids happy. I'm trying to enjoy what fun I can...the park, playing outside.
    And i constantly feel like I'm behind on my to-do lists. And I get frustrated that there are things I can't do, that my man has to do, but he's too busy to do them.
    Anyway, I can't wait for the long weekend with my family!!! Enjoy!

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  15. The pissing cat alone would have me mentally unhinged. (I complain about dog hair. What the hell is MY problem? You can vacuum that up. Cat piss is a whole different ordeal.)

    Forget the blinds and the leaves.

    I know when I was in college at age 40-whatever, and had 3 preschoolers, my husband told me in plain English: HIRE A BABY SITTER.

    I did.

    Yes, simplify. It's not Debbie Downer, it's accepting this chapter of your life as intense. There will be others, many others, not this demanding.

    My sanity was restored that semester.

    And as to the challenges and emotional demands of bottled water? I babysit a very beautiful grandchild, and her beverages require stuff. She gets angry if things are not how she thinks they ought to be.

    FIX IT!

    Toddlers are so single-minded and fierce. Wheee. love, Val

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  16. I don't have any kids yet, so I don't know exactly how you're feeling, but I'm thinking of you! Hopefully a baby sitter will help, and maybe try to get away to do a hobby that you love. Any mother deserves some time for themselves! :) Have a nice Thanksgiving!

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  17. so so so timely! I haven't read our blog in a while (i haven't had the time, and today i didn't just hit the wall, I smashed all the way through it. What did it to me? I have been late for work twice in two weeks and my supervisor came down on me about it. 15 mins late and i NEED to call to let someone know where i am. Fair call. I know it is but i just lost it. Out came the crazy in pissed off crying sobs. I have a 2 year old and an almost 1 year old. I work part-time and run a small business on the side. My husband works away and it is often just me at home. I have a full load. M 2 year old is challenging and tantrums at the drop of a hat. She can have several tantrums before lunch on most days. She screams in the car, refuses to get changed in the morning or changes her mind about what she wants to wear. I have to drop the kids off into two different day care centres on the way to work. My husband is pissed off that he never gets to see me any more. And i am just generally run down and pissed off that i have to shoulder everything. I just want to scream! I cannot win. I didn't picture that life would be like this with kids. It's a miserable time. I want to lie in bed with the covers over my head, but i can't because someone has to look after the kids or do the million things that need to be done around the house. The 'to do' list is neverending.
    I keep thinking that this is just a rough patch and that it will pass. I'm hoping that in another year the kids will be a bit more self-sufficient and it will get easier. So yes, i lost my shit today. Went home, cried my eyes out for most of the day and then took a nap. Hang in there, you are not alone. 15 mins late? I wanted to say: get the fuck out you childless freak of a supervisor. YOU HAVE NO IDEA what my life is like. I just ran the gauntlet to get to work. I hope you get a high needs toddler one day!

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  18. Good for you, Laura! Oh my goodness, a peeing cat? GAH! I'm so sorry! I can barely stand our cats' shedding, throwing up, and constant need to be feed (don't they see that I have little people to feed and focus on?). I've recently had to step back too in a number of ways. There are lots of things I want to do, but they will just have to wait. I actually really want to clean our shower head and tub, but a nap is really what I NEED to do in order to function. That's what I'm telling myself at least. I'm assistant directing a play right now and I finally had to swallow my pride and step back from that. Instead of going to rehearsal 4 or 5 times a week, I'm usually there only 2 times a week. It felt like giving up a tiny bit of myself, but I know it's what is best for myself and my family.

    I wanted to bring up one thing about your blog. I love that not only you get fulfillment from it, but so do your readers! It's a great place for us to go as a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles (or joys) with parenting, and we can vent a little ourselves. Thanks for that, Laura :)

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  19. I'm too lazy to log out of Megan's google account... but anyway.. do you guys have a Boston Market on your side of town? I say let them do the poultry and the potatoes! Or even pick up already made stuff at Lunds/Byerlys/Kowalskis.

    Hang in there.. hopefully bladder control will return to your cats, husband's work situation will calm down, teeth will magically be done coming in, preschooler drama will decline, and all will be well. I still can't get over Oliver's teething. Megan just got her last 2 molars in September!! They seem to be on opposite sides of the teething spectrum :)

    Also on the blinds situation, we got ours from Aero Drapery. They will come out to your house, do all the measuring, bring the books and stuff to you (so you don't have to go to their showroom), and install. It was so so so convenient. And I'm pretty sure they will come in the evenings. I'm sure there are other places like that in the metro too. Much easier than trying to get to a store/showroom.

    *hugs*

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  20. Couple of random comments...

    Do you read Swistle? I think one time she posted on how each family has their own "extravagant expenditures" and how there are always things that other people feel are not worth spending money on, but you'd likely find things you didn't agree with in their budgets. How you need to spend your money to manage your life is your business, and yours alone. Go forth and hire!!

    Good for you for pulling back on Thanksgiving. It happens every year and it's not like you're ruining traditions forevermore by changing things up a little this year. I think we chatted about this...there will be plenty of time when kids are older for a different sort of celebration.

    Have you read The Happiness Project? I know you don't have a lot of spare time to read, but I think you'd really like it. Please don't think I'm saying that I think you need to be happier, it's just that the author reminds me a lot of you (and myself) and it's super interesting to read about what she learns over the year of her project. I find myself referring back to it over and over. I have a copy I could lend you if you think you might be interested at some point.

    16 down, 2 on the way...know what that sounds like to me? THE END OF TEETHING IS NIGH!!

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  21. Today my voice broke and i cried a little (Harper was all, "what is it, Momma? Did you hurt yourself?") Because Harper wouldn't pick out a dress to wear to Chik-Fil-A. Who needs the decaf, now? How about how damn messy our houses get....bc we are in them all day with kids! And thus have no ability to get them completely picked up? ... Relatives in town for the holidays just gonna drop by? Are you Effing kidding me? Sorry. I'm done. You're not alone.

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  22. I want to chime with another do babysitter comment. I remember spending a lot of time at my aunts house when I was little -my mom was a SAHM, too, with two kids. I think you're doing a great job, and I'm sorry about the recent crud you've had to deal with!! I only have one kid, but I still feel constantly overwhelmed and not on top of things, gah.

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  23. Good luck and I say you just eat all the foods you love on Thanksgiving rather then the foods "you should have", I am sure it will make it way more fun and really the point is to eat tons of food with other people right not to eat a certain four foods!
    Also curtains/blinds are like the devil of house furnishing because I know in our little apartment we have had total fights about it so I cannot imagine picking them out and installing them for a house.

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  24. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR THE BABYSITTING FOR EVEN ONE SECOND. Had to shout that one. If any stay at home mom said they wouldnt take some alone time if they could- whether it be to work or play- is LYING. Straight up. Most aren't able to. But if you can? Do it and never feel guilty.

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  25. Good call on needing to recollect and step back, lady. I do not blame you and I think every SAHM should get a sitter for at least a bit during each week. It's 100% needed and you should not feel guilty about it, either. I'll miss your daily posts but I will survive somehow;)

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  26. https://www.facebook.com/thehollywoodhousewife/posts/508360109187840

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  27. I enjoyed this post - because it's just nice to remind yourself that every mom (and many dads) are in the same situation - it just feels impossible to get everything done and keep the house clean and feel on top of things and it can be so frustrating!! I'm learning to just let go of certain things and to feel very proud of myself when we knock things off the to-do list! Good for you for stepping back where you can.

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  28. Sing on, Anonymous. I have wells of empathy on the trials of a two year old who melts down many times a day. In my own experience, the meltdowns are most intense with mom. I feel like I am in a bipolar relationship at times. And I want to punch your boss in the throat.

    The thing is, my life is great. I have a loving husband, a healthy one year old, a sweet but high strung two year old and the career I had dreamed of having. SO WHY AM I SO ANGRY SOMETIMES? The guilt that I can only give 50 percent at work, 75 percent at home. The sleepless nights next to a snoring husband, the fact that our finances have not been balanced for months and I have been a bad friend/sister/daughter for more than two years. So, we hired a babysitter for an evening and a weekend day a week, and it has changed my life. Even if all I do is sleep or write emails during her time with my kids, it is my time. SAHMs, you have the hardest job of any of us - take care of yourselves while giving to everyone else.

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  29. (Its Noelle) I am glad that you seem to be doing a bit better since this post - Love and miss you dear, dear London friend...I thought you would have some great advice: A friend of mine at work has a almost-five month old with constant drooling and rubbing of gums but no actual teeth poking through, and obvs is a sometimes crabby pants mcgee. What are your tips for teething? Oh, and if you have any for upset stomach/vomiting (he is a breastfed boy) I would give you extra points and you will be MVP of the day :)

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