Sunday, February 2, 2014

Bumpdate: 32 Weeks

Due Date: March 27, 2014. 8-10 weeks to go. I still feel like there's a ton of time left, but when I really stop to think about it, 8 weeks is nothing. It's a Hal Higdon 5K training plan. It's 56 days. It's less than two months. Blip! Gone. So that's a little scary. Helpfully, winter - and February in particular - usually makes time slow down to a painfully slow turtle pace so that will work in my favor.

Weight Gain: 31 lbs.

Symptoms: Pregnancy-wise I'm fine, although I do feel the uptick in third tri problems of reflux, contractions, aches, fatigue, etc.  The contractions get intense, especially in the evenings - having that happen this early is definitely a third baby thing! My real problem is that my mood is PISS POOR from the weather. I can't handle all these days of brutal negative temperatures. I shut down. I feel depressed right now, but I'm thinking I'll pop out of it quickly once we can leave the truly frigid stuff behind. If the really bad mood lingers, however, I will start a low-dose antidepressant (I think) because I want to stay far, far ahead of any depression during this vulnerable time. Anyway, just keeping an eye on things.

What's different this time: I bought gentian violet (thrush treatment) already as a "must-have" for when baby gets here. #thrushPTSD. 

I'm thankful for: My regular coat and maternity jeans still fitting - they are both the warmest options when I need to go out. I'm also feeling thankful for a chance to buy baby items from a third-time mom perspective. Now, OBVIOUSLY, I would prefer not having to re-acquire baby items. But since the situation is what it is, it's nice to be able to make rather informed buying decisions. For example, after two babies I now know that as far as a nursing pillow goes, a My Brest Friend pillow is by far the superior choice for me as compared to the Boppy. And I also know from plenty of experience that breastmilk, spit up, & baby poo and pee gets all over those breastfeeding pillows so I made the decision to buy a professional version of the My Brest Friend, which means it has a waterproof/wipeable cover. Honestly - why aren't all the breastfeeding pillows made with waterproof covers??  I can also apply my experienced-parent knowledge to knowing that an electrical baby swing will be way smarter than a battery-operated swing because my gigantic babies had me going through crazy amounts of D batteries to keep the swings operating. And after some crowd-sourcing for info & feedback on Facebook, I have also decided that getting the infant carseat attachment for my BOB stroller will be much better than another snap & go stroller since we'll have snow to contend with in addition to regular walking on trails. Anyway, just making some lemonade over here :)

Cravings/Aversions: I haven't been indulging much since it's the off-season, but fruit, especially berries, sound amazing.

Sleep: Another area that gets a little worse each week. Think I'll stop taking Unisom since it's not really helping me combat insomnia and I still had a few nights of being up for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night.

I miss: Again with the breathing this week. I would take the ability to breathe fully and deeply over a nice glass of wine. Actually, I've been surprised how little I miss/think about wine. Maybe because the kids aren't in difficult stages right now :)

I am looking forward to: Warm weather! Even some average temps of 20-30 degrees would feel mighty nice. 

Best moment this week: Oliver made us proud this week by initiating some potty training. I have been super duper relaxed about starting potty training with him because (1) I find a potty-trained kid to be a far bigger hassle than a diaper-wearing kid and (2) We are about to bring a new baby into the picture which seems like a set-up for regression. Oliver had shown no interest in trying out a potty, or wearing undies, or getting a treat for going on the potty and was actually quite stubborn and adamant that he did not want to deal with the potty in any way. But then something changed just last week and he started requesting to try out his potty. We followed his lead and now have had several successful events, including the big one this morning: #2! I'm still going to be super casual about training, but I imagine we will be able to embark on a 2-3 day intense training session in the summer and then he'll be trained. Proud of my little Bubby.

I'm stressing about: April and May. As it turns out, Raj will not be able to take much of a paternity leave - a day or two is probably about all we can expect, although there may be some work-from-home options early on (alas that will be truly working and not "working"). If the baby was coming in the summer there would be so much more flexibility with leave, but that's not the case.  For the record, I do not feel this is something that Raj can or should push back on. On a larger and more global level, YES this is a ridiculous aspect of American and corporate work culture. But on the everyday reality scale, it's mostly just a case of bad timing and Raj is really disappointed he won't be able to take a 2-3 week leave like he did the other times.

To complicate matters, my original plan of "hire all the help!" is not so easy as we have been hit by multiple random expenses over the past year (and a couple more surprises came up this month with a car repair and other life things) so our savings has dramatically dwindled. It's causing a lot of stress as there are just so many unknowns and variables: Easy baby or challenging baby? Easy postpartum period or slow-to-bounce-back one? Will Raj be able to be find some flexibility with work in April and May or not? and so on. So we are talking about what debt we are willing to take on for additional help in the form of babysitting, preschool camps, and monthly housecleaning as a means of preventing me from getting too overwhelmed in the postpartum period and what would be spending money foolishly. It's a hard call. We do have some family help which will be HUGE - my mom can help a couple days after the baby is born and perhaps some more time after that and my mother-in-law will come up for 2-3 weeks and can even stagger those weeks as needed (thank you to Raj's job for extra frequent flier miles!) It will be doable, but I am for sure really stressed about both money and the reality of adding a newborn into our family while my husband is keeping an insane work schedule. It's life, yo. And thankfully, it will be a temporary blip of insanity. Summer will be slower and in the fall I don't foresee needing more than my usual 4 hours of weekly babysitting + monthly deep cleaning for helping me maintain my sanity and general well-being.

Hopefully I'm just overthinking all this due to the fact that last time (post Oliver) was SO ROUGH for so many reasons. I keep reminding myself that a lot of those factors might never even come up this time around and even if they did, I'll be proactive in stopping them from getting out of hand (referring to postpartum hemorrhage, thrush, and postpartum depression). Crossing fingers and toes and all that to everything going much more smoothly.

Milestones: I can now say, "Next month I'm having a baby!"

Movement: Baby's bones are certainly getting quite hard and baby is getting so big in general. Starting to turn the corner to painful movements and sitting down is awkward when baby is moving around. I can't imagine how painful this would all be if I didn't have the longest torso in the whole entire world.

It's a...: Kitten. (No. Still a baby.)
 
Exercise: Fail outside of having to hold and carry Oliver a ton because he was dealing with some regression behaviors this week. And now that I think about that, it seems odd he was so clingy and baby-like while at the same time instigating potty training this week...hmmm. Wonder if there is some connection?

Diet: Nothing too notable although a lot of yogurt + granola filler meals. I feel like my appetite has been low for weeks/months now. I seem to remember finding food pretty fantastic in my past pregnancies.

Weekly Goal: Nursery decal wall is done and we love it. I also picked up a couple baby things via Craigslist (bouncer & playmat) for cheapie cheap so that left me feeling accomplished. Still scouring around on CL for a baby swing and a Moby wrap. I think this week I would like to focus on some of the "paperwork" aspects of my pre-baby to-do list: write out my birth plan (which will mostly be: water birth, delayed cord clamping, shoot me up with pitocin after placenta delivery, and allow me my completely freaky placenta eating/saving) and write out details about the kids' routines for my mom and MIL (and other random sitters who may be called upon last minute during the birth).

Belly Pic:
I feel like I look misleadingly small here. But I also continue to think I don't really look that pregnant in my winter coat, so you know. Am not of right mind.

3 comments:

  1. Looking good! 8 weeks is but a blip (albeit, pregnancy blips are painfully long...)!
    Sorry about the new stresses. For what it's worth, I have found (with all 3 of my kids, but especially #3), that the first 6 weeks aren't actually that bad. Your body is running on adrenaline and you are so blissfully in love with the newby that sleep ain't no thang. And the baby is still new and exciting to the older kids so they are still behaving fine. And THEN, after all the help has gone home, the meals stop coming in, and the newness starts to wear off, THAT is when the other kids may start to act up and you find yourself drowning in needy babies all alone. Okay, maybe that's a tad dramatic (maybe not?), but anyway, if I could do it over again, I would have lined up help for AFTER the six week pp mark instead of immediately after baby came home. So maybe the husbands time off will end up lining up with that period of time instead? More lemonade :)
    And I totally agree that a kid in diapers is WAY easier than potty training :) Thats why I didn't plan on potty training AJ until she was at least 3. But she surprised us and pt herself just after W was born. So I guess sometimes instead of regression, you get progression! O seems somewhat mature for a 2 year old (?), so I bet he will take his new big brother status in stride and impress you with all sorts of new skills that make your life easier :)

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  2. Mama T - Yes, that adrenline in those first weeks is pretty darn great for smoothing over the initial hard days. I oddly remember 4 months as being really trying with my kids because they both took turns for the worse with their sleep (and that was after already waking 3-4 times a night) and by then I was dealing with some cumulative sleep deprivation. And once we are past the (potentially) hard times of April & May, it will be kind of nice to have my husband off during a time we can all be more mellow. That way we can actually do some summer activities and maybe rent a cabin for a week or something without me on the rollercoaster of hormones and healing. And we both find babies start to get especially cute and fun by then because they are smiling/laughing starting to show their personalities. Anyway, it will all work out no matter what happens!

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  3. I do hope you are able to hire some help for those first 6 weeks. I had the benefit of daycare for Annie and really do not know what I would have done without that for my maternity leave with Luke! The transition to 2 was really hard for me, and I've heard from a number of people (who also had rough transitions to having 1 AND 2 kids) that #3 wasn't nearly as bad. I can see that being very true, but you just never know. Adrenaline kept me going for like.... 2 weeks, and then weeks 2-4 were super super hard for me, until 6 weeks and sleeping became a tiny bit more regular (not good, but more predictable slightly) and then the baby is smiling and not just a lump of crying and poop. YAY BABIES.

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