Tuesday, February 11, 2014

If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter!

Alternative Blog Post Titles:

So! My lady bits hurt and now I'm supposed to wear a jock strap! So excited!


Victory Over Vulver Varicosites: A Public Service Announcement

Vulver varicosities. Say it. Live it. Love it. Vullllllva. Mmmmm.

So I'm thinking that vulver varicosities might be more common in pregnancy than one might realize. What is this delightful thing I speak of? Well, basically if you are a pregnant lady and you feel like someone kicked your crotch several times or you have to fight off the urge to clutch your crotch in pain while walking or you find yourself pondering icing your lady bits with a bag of frozen peas in order to feel relief after a long day...well, you too might be a lucky VV sufferer. Here, have some Mayo Clinic info.

In a nutshell:  some preggies get varicose veins in their labia! Why not? And the more you exercise or are on your feet, the more the VVs will hurt! The most effective cure is having that baby. Thankfully your lady bit VVs will generally go back to normal pretty quickly. But when you are still looking at 2, 7, 15, or 25 weeks of pregnancy to go, there are a few others options. Things like icing your crotch (guess that urge isn't so crazy after all), resting and staying off your feet as much as possible, and...the pièce de résistance...

Lady Jock Straps!!!! 

Like this! 
(Those ladies do look awfully happy...)

Or this! 
(Purple shorts unitard not included.)

Or this! 
(It's not me...it's you. Babe.)

I experienced a solid five minutes of uncontrollable giggling as I did my Amazon.com research on VV supporters and had to text my sister so she could share in the delight of lady jock straps.  I was also very excited to show Raj these images when he got home from work. (Him: You have to blog this, obviously.) When I had my midwife appointment last week I mentioned my VV probs to the midwife (while my children bopped around the exam room, I might add) and she wrote me my very own prescription for a V2 supporter. I like how the technical term is all hip. V2! Catchy! I'm not sure if insurance will cover these oh-so-spendy fancy-lady lingerie yet, but can't hurt to try.

For the record, the "It's You Babe V2 Supporter" is what was recommend by both a friend who is a fellow VV sufferer while pregnant and also the healthcare store at my hospital. It does feature some nice decorative stitching along its sturdy elastic belt, I'll give it that.

So! That is me sharing some most useful info with you.

Good times, good times.


  1. Good times, indeed. VV sufferers UNITE!

  2. Haaaa, one of my good friends had this problem - I am not sure if she wore THAT particular contraption, but I know she had to wear some kind of belly support thing.

  3. Since we're oversharing... I had that same problem when I was pregnant with my son. What an odd feeling. The only relief I got was from sitting and crossing my legs. Forget standing for any period of time, it felt like I could feel my heart beat in my crotch. The sad part is, I never knew there was any such contraption to help relieve this VV phenomenon. PS. You are hilarious. Have you tried Goodwill or the Salvation Army?? Maybe you could find one at a more reasonable price. Pfffffffffff :0)

  4. O wow that purple unitard picture is so amazing and I so hope that models kids do not find it one day for her own sake!

  5. You are my hero. TMI time! I suffer from some serious pain in that area the first day or so of my period. Your post led me to research the possibility of VV. I will now be having a conversation with my doctor about it. Thank you, Laura :)

  6. Okay, those pictures totally made my day! How funny!

    Also, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with two kids bopping around during appointments. I feel like the nurses are questioning my decision to have a third when the two I have are running wild around the office. My last appointment ended with me trying to get crayon off of the exam room chair... oops!

  7. I love the little bit of lace on that last one--makes it so feminine! :0)

  8. I'm so glad you shared these pictures; I feel like my life would have been incomplete without them! I hope your fancy panties give you relief!

  9. Pregnancy...so glamorous! Also, my Amazon suggestions are going to be much more interesting after adding all of those items to my browsing history!

  10. Both pregnancies, same problem. By the end, I could barely walk a few steps without wincing. If I had known about these contraptions, I don't know if I would've gone there. I probably would've just suffered through it! Please keep us updated! And, as always, thanks for being willing to share the icky parts of pregnancy and parenting so all the rest of us feel less alone. :)

  11. I'm not sure why you all think this is a TMI/overshare/personal info type post?? Bahahahahaha. :)

    Anne - YES to the weird heartbeat in my crotch feeling. Lol.

    A - I haven't yet bit the bullet and purchased (or called insurance to check on if they cover one) because this past week has been pretty decent given we have been stuck inside 24/7 between being sick and also the cold. But if it was summer and we were out and about - I think I would have had to buy it. So now the question is: is it worth it for just six more weeks? Hmmmm...

  12. I really hope you get relief as soon as the baby is born - otherwise, I may not be able to handle the possibility you'll be wearing one of these when you eat your placenta.

    1. BAHAHAHA! LOL for days at this comment.

  13. The lovely lace detail on the last one is what makes it the recommended one, isn't it? So feminine.

    I would say it is worth it for 6 weeks, because the last 6 weeks of pregnancy are long enough without nagging crotch pain.

  14. Well that's going to make for an interesting list of suggested items on future Amazon browsing. ;)